Wednesday, June 30, 2010

It's Zach!!

Opened up my dailycandy e-mail and who is in the video? None other than Zach! haha loves it!

It won't let me embed the video, so go to this link. Zach would be the only male. Unless the dog is a male. Zach is the human male.

He so has the funnest job ever. And yes, I know that's grammatically wrong, but "most fun" sounds weird.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Music to Check Out

Here's some music of friends/acquaintances that you should check out...though if you are family members older than 40, you probably won't like the first 2 just fyi:

- close friend's cousin. I love their music, but their performances are even better. Mark (guitarist and my friend's cousin), went to Plumstead for a bit.

Leah Le Grace - one of my youth girls from Jersey. She's tiny with a huge stage command.

Paul Stephens
- an acquaintance from CA - he led worship at APU and now leads worship at Faith Community in Covina, CA - recently released his 2nd album. Both amazing.

Station 153 - the band I sang with back in Jersey. Album is on limited release now--hopefully the original songs will be on itunes soon.

Gets Me Every Time

"To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you" -CS Lewis

Yikes. That hits hard--probably for a lot of people. It's interesting that he chose the words he did. I always see things like "you have to forgive because God forgave you" - Well, yeah yeah I know. I do... But CS Lewis clarifies just what you are supposed to forgive--and why. The INEXCUSABLE. I don't know about many of you but I certainly had an inexcusable act(s) that I had to forgive in recent years and it is NOT EASY. But nothing worth doing is easy. Why is it worth forgiving an inexcusable act(s)? Because by not forgiving--by holding a grudge, by continuing to harbor bitterness and hatred--we only harm ourselves. "Hate" is not a God-word--it's a devil word. Hate (and by extension, bitterness)is an instrument of the devil that will eat you from the inside out. You feel hate, and don't want to, and maybe you ask God to deliver you from feeling hate and bitterness, but He won't until you forgive.

I try not to speak about things I have no experience with, so I'm saying all this from a perspective of been there, done that, doing that still. The hatred and bitterness I felt was eating me from the inside out. It ate away at my hope, trust, faith, love, and then my soul. And in the mean time was starting to hit the outside too. I hate to destroy any perpective some of you may have of me being a good little Christian girl, but I spent a good 2-4 years off and on doing things that shouldn't be done because I allowed the hate to destroy me. How bad could it really have gotten? Let's just say pretty bad and I'm an extremely lucky young woman. It went on and on until one awful morning the "rooster crowed three times" and the Truth slammed into me like a freight train in a long dark tunnel. I couldn't find my way back without accepting I needed to forgive...because let's face it, my life wasn't exactly the epitomy of spotless. God forgave my inexcusable acts and thoughts, so I had to forgive others' inexcusable acts. It's not easy. It's hard. Even now I still have to forgive every day. I continuously forgive day after day for the same exact thing because if I don't, the hate will come back and I refuse to go down that road again. I've backslid and it's not a good feeling, so as difficult as it may be at times, I have to keep my head up and eyes, mind, heart, and soul focused.

So I encourage you, as hard as it may be--as hurt as you are, as broken as you feel--forgive. You can't fully ever recover if you don't forgive. You can't grow in relationship with God if you harbor ill-will and hatred and bitterness...and you can only fake it for so long. Trust me.

Woo Hoo!

Ok, who prayed for healing?? So I can thank you! (I've already thanked God) There was a lot of pain last night and I couldn't fall asleep because of it and finally did what I should've done from the start and begged God to take the pain away. I told Him he could leave the bump, just get rid of the pain. I'm also pretty sure someone or some people prayed healing over me from a distance...because I woke up with no pain! Wooooooooooohoooooooooo!!! It's amazing how freeing that feels.

Monday, June 28, 2010


Randomly out of nowhere, this bump appeared on the back of my head. Just about at the base of the skull and halfway between my right ear and the middle of my head. I have absolutely no recollection of actually bumping my head on anything...especially in such a weird spot...but I have a bump and it hurts if I move my head in a certain way or push on the bump. Weird.

This morning I looked at the calendar and got excited because I saw that Friday was the 4th...which meant that I had a 4 day week. Not so. I was looking at June, not July. I have Monday off, not this Friday. SO next week I have a 4 day work week.

I don't know what I'm gonna do for the 4th. I've got to pick the perfect church to visit so I can get invited over for a 4th of July BBQ's that or take Quincy to a dog park. I'd go to MI or NJ or NY, but I'd have to drive and I'm already driving to Boston in a couple weeks. Maybe I can go to Nashville...

Saturday, June 26, 2010

It's Hard to stay mad at him...

Quincy has been a huge brat the last couple weeks...He was doing so well "accidents" (or blatant disregard for the rules) since I moved in.

I set his pen back up more free reign when I'm not home. I don't enjoy scrubbing carpets...which is what I just did about an hour ago.

In other news, I'm gettin ready to watch the USA vs. Ghana match...and I would really appreciate it if they could send Spector in as a sub this game. Hammers represent! :)

K, Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Friday, June 25, 2010

Thoughts on a Friday

1. I ate a donut for breakfast. DETOX OVER! PS. I managed to get that donut for free. Score.

2. I have 2 absolute favorite brands of jeans--True Religion and Rock&Republic. They are comfortable and fit better than any other jean I've even tried on/worn. There's just one problem with both of them. They are so freaking long. See:

Why is this necessary? Only Lisa Leslie could wear pants this long. I'm wearing 4+ inch heels, and I have pretty long legs, and they still drag on the floor. I'm not sure what I should do...I hate hemmed jeans (they always LOOK hemmed) but they cost too much money to drag on the ground and consequently rip up. Maybe I can get some of that burnt orange thread and very carefully hem them...I've never hemmed anything before though...

3. I want to go spend a month relaxing in each of these places (paradise, followed by Provence, France):

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Thoughts on a Thursday

Some thoughts for this 87 degrees already though the sun hasn't even been up for very long, day:

1. I've said it before, but I'll say it again: I live in a giant sauna.

2. All the pictures I took my freshman and sophomore years of college are gone. I lost them when my computer crashed at the end of sophomore year. There are pictures that would really be awesome to have hanging on my walls now...but nothing I can do about it. Oh! Does that mean I can pretend some of it never happened? lol No no, it all happened for a reason...some reasons I just may never know haha

3. Today my Grandpa and Grandma Steffes have been married for 60 years. SIXTY. Their marriage is truly an inspiration. They are so cute together and as much in love today as they were 60 years ago...and they show it too. Sure, they argue a little, who doesn't? It's healthy to argue once in a while...keeps things fresh. But they don't go to bed angry, they still hold hands in church and flirt with each other.

See? I told you they were cute.

4. My stepsister Kelli is graduating from high school today! Which is exciting! I never totally understood why New England schools go till the end of June and have graduation in the morning in the middle of the week, but it's been that way since before I was in high school. I went to a private school so I got out 2 weeks before the public schools...which means I got the summer job first. We also graduated at a normal time like a Friday night. But anyway, congrats Kelli! Wish I could be up there!

5. FINALLY It is my last day of detox. 3 weeks of vegetable and fruit in raw, grilled, baked, pureed and juiced form. Pasta for dinner tomorrow with some Red Velvet Cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory for dessert? Possibly skip the actual dinner and go straight for the dessert? Yes Please!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

7 Years and GPOYW

In honor of realizing that I graduated high school 7 years ago, my GPOYW pic is a trio of senior year pics. The first is a picture of my entire senior class (LOL). The second is a picture of Seany and I at prom (oh that was a typical high school drama filled night). The third is a picture of Rienstra, Hustler and I at the Madrigals dinner senior year (yeah yeah laugh all you want).

So yeah, I graduated 7 years ago. It's crazy to think about. I can't stop thinking about it. My life is NOTHING like what I thought it would be when I left Plumstead. I was supposed to be married to Michael Vartan by now with an Emmy on my coffeetable. Yes, I was naive and a tad unrealistic. To this day though, I would drop EVERYTHING to be in a play or movie or tv show.

Then I think about how the 7 years went by so fast and at the same time, high school seems like a lifetime ago. The things I've done, seen, been; the places I've lived; the mistakes I've made; the regrets I have--it's crazy to think about. I've done and seen more in 7 years than many people do and see in a lifetime. Some good, some bad. I've basically been to hell and back since high school. There are a few people I'm still friends with--Rachel, Kristin, Sean--but for the most part, I left that life behind. Anyone but those 3 (and Rudolph too probably) just wouldn't know ME. They would remember what I was and assume I'm the same person. Sean most definitely knows the most about my life of the past 7 years of the three which is weird to me when I think back to the very end of senior year, but I guess you just grow up and get past the past. You have to. You can't be that person who made the magic goal with 2 seconds left, or the person that brought the audience to tears or laughter. We grow up, become adults. We might still do those things, but we make new goals, accomplish bigger and better things. We grow up and realize we don't always get what we always dreamed of--and understand that that's a good thing.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Shoot Me

I have started the 30-day shred. I tried this once before, but it's harder than it looks. Jillian is mean. It doesn't matter that it's a dvd, you're still scared she might come out of the tv and kick your butt so you keep going, no slacking. I do this in the mornings since running isn't really an option on weekdays (sun doesn't come up early enough and its too insanely hot and humid after work (even after it gets dark). So yes, I do this workout dvd (aka hell) and then after work I do 100 situps, 50 pushups, and some light weight lifting. And Saturdays I run for 6-10 miles...more if I forget where to turn.

Disciplinary Action

So I'm reviewing some policies and such that a risk management company thinks we should add to the employee manual. It's fine...some are good to add, some are necessary, some are a pain in my backside.

There is this one policy though that includes this:

"It includes, but is not limited to, beating, stabbing, suicide, attempted suicide, shooting, rape, and obscene phone calls. Employees who violate this policy will be subject to disciplinary action, up to and including termination."

Did you catch it? According to this, an employee who commits suicide is subject to disciplinary action up to and including termination. Never mind that you are DEAD.

And attempted suicide? Consider: Those who attempt suicide often do so because of their skewed perception of their life...thinking its horrible, nothing good will ever happen, there's no reason to live. Do you have any idea what firing someone for attempted suicide will do to such person? Good job risk management, that's called a wrongful death lawsuit by family members of the employee who probably ran his car off a cliff after being fired for attempted suicide.

Disclaimer: I'm not poking fun at suicide - I'm annoyed with the Risk Management company for even including that in a policy it's so ridiculous.

Bridal Diapers?

So there's this rumor going around the internet that I heard about from DailyCandy. The rumor is about wedding shops (online and instore) that sell bridal diapers for those brides that don't want to have to bother trying to figure out how to go to the bathroom in their wedding gowns. I suppose it would be difficult--imagine trying to go to the bathroom in that dress above...but seriously? ew. If you want an enormous ball gown for a wedding dress, just get a second dress for the reception. problem solved. DON'T WEAR A DIAPER!

Just some thoughts that came to mind upon reading the article:

1. Imagine that wedding night...nothing sexier than taking a diaper off your new wife...a dirty diaper. Does the groom tickle her tummy and say "who's a good girl, yes you are, oh that was a big one!"??

2. Everytime you go to a wedding where the bride is wearing a ball gown or even an A-line wedding dress, you will now wonder if she is wearing a diaper under it. Kinda ruins the magic doesn't it?

3. If you're at a wedding with a big-skirted bride, and she giggles at some point during the ceremony, you will now have to wonder if she just made a doody in her diaper.

4. When a baby goes in his/her diaper, you can smell it. Layers upon layers of tulle can only mask the smell for so long.

5. I have problems going when someone else is in the bathroom (like at work) and I'm not the only one, so how is a woman expected to go in front of hundreds of people?

6. What if it happens at a really inopportune time? Like when the bride is supposed to say "I do" but gets distracted and doesn't answer? Does she say, "Oh sorry, I was relieving myself, I do"...If I was the groom I would hope that I hadn't said "I do" yet and would be running out the back door.

Now, if you are elderly and have to wear depends on a daily basis, that's a whole other story. I'm talking about women in their 20s and 30s (because a woman over 35 should not wear a big-skirted wedding dress).

Monday, June 21, 2010


You know, most of the time being proud is not really considered a good thing. Definitely not a virtue (CS Lewis wrote a whole chapter on pride...and it was good). But we should be proud to a certain degree--it kind of serves as a meter of our lives. Would I be proud to say I do this, have done this, etc? Am I proud of what I've accomplished? If we are doing something we can't be proud of, we shouldn't be doing it.

I'm feelin kind of proud right now haha. A friend of mine from college that I had a few poli sci classes with posted a question to Glenn Beck supporters on her facebook--about asking for an explanation to the whole controversial "these natural disasters are God's punishment" thing. I got Glenn Beck's Common Sense book but haven't read anything more than maybe 20-30 pages. I also don't agree with the whole natural disasters are God's punishment thing (see the ending of Noah's ark). Now, though I was more of a liberal in college, an early supporter of Obama (not anymore, calm down I voted for McCain), I am now known as a Conservative...and one who causes arguments and controversy with my conservative statements among more liberal and definitely far left liberal friends. I now try to keep my mouth shut for the most part, but I couldn't resist writing something that agreed with this friend (who is neither liberal nor conservative but votes/thinks along the lines of her Biblical interpretation...something we all should be doing in my opinion). Here is her response:

"Haha! I saw that you replied and I thought "oh, crap... of all the conservatives I'm friends with, she's probably the one I want to tick off the least."

That just made me laugh and feel good. I admit, I can get kinda fiery when I feel I'm being attacked. I don't like being told "no" or that I'm I launch. Kinda a tad bit proud of that. I like to think of it as a trait that's been in my blood, in my family for at least 6 generations. I'm a fighter. I wouldn't have gotten to where I am today or gotten through what I've gotten through if I wasn't a fighter. So, thanks Liz! haha

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Shine On

Ladies and gentlemen,

After 2 months of searching (not hard, mind you) I have finally found some moonshine (bought it, and just tasted it too).

There's nothing in the world quite like you can see from the jar (it comes in a mason jar), the moonshine (or corn whiskey) is 80 proof, and not even 30 days old. You know how baby oil looks in it's container and feels? Well that is very much what this moonshine looks and feels like...and it even has an oily taste. It's shocking that you even notice the oily film in your mouth when your busy coughing and gagging from the turpentine-like smell and burning taste--and I only had a tiny sip. That is also all I'm going to have. I'm just gonna keep it around to bring out to make visitors taste.

In other news, the neighbors across from me had a party last night (the old dude with grey dreds) and I can't take Quincy out when there are so many very unfamiliar people because Quincy is pretty and everyone always wants to coo at him and pet him which scares the living daylights out of him, so I was quarantined to my apartment. Finally shortly after midnight I heard only 1 or 2 people so I figured Quincy could deal with that. Poor guy...lady was drunk and asked if she could pet his face. I said it was fine, got to be neighborly. Meanwhile quincy's freaking as she gets closer and cowers behind my legs but i get him around so she can pet him. It was more like fondling lol. She was just rubbin all over his face (didn't let go of the corona though). Quincy was traumatized and when I opened the front door he literally ran from the door and back into my bedroom and onto my bed.

Friday, June 18, 2010

A little Louboutin fall/winter sneaky peaky

Gateway youth group take note--these I am getting specifically for when I'm in Jersey to play Circle of Death. Finally Raven and I will win--and the game's name will have more meaning.

Now these are a pair that I would like to wear with my wedding dress:

hahahaha just kidding. My only reaction to these boots was/is "what in the h-e-double hockey sticks is Monsieur Louboutin THINKING?!"

USA vs. Slovenia

1. Wow, the Slovenians are some serious cry-babies.

2. The ref was the worst thing I've ever seen. Slovenia dude TACKLED USA dude and USA get's yellow flagged. ????? This sort of thing happened a lot. And I got searing mad when they shot to one of the Slovenian players right after that and he had this sinister smile on his face that I wanted to smack off him.

3. USA was robbed. We should've won 3-2. The ball went into the goal 3 times, and yet the score remained 2-2.

4. I guess a tie is better than a loss...

Thursday, June 17, 2010

When Did This Happen??

Dang. When did Hanson get so good-looking? Makes me wish I liked them way back when they first came out ('on the music scene,' not 'of the closet').

T-minus 1 month!

1 month till Boston!! I had the option to bring a date to the wedding, but I don't really know anyone in Boston and my guy friends in NJ probably aren't up for the drive...and we'd have to get 2 hotel rooms because they wouldn't feel right sharing a hotel room even though we're just using it to sleep. Hotel rooms in Boston are too expensive for that. So I'm going alone. And hey, if you take a date to a wedding, you won't meet a single guy who is also at the wedding. I actually do know a guy in Boston, but I haven't seen him since college and we were really just passing acquaintances even though I had a big crush on him, so I can't exactly randomly ask him out of the blue to go to a wedding. I can't handle any more rejection lol.

I am also excited because the reception is at The Harvard Club which is very close to this coffee place called Pavement which is amazing because they serve pour-over coffee. You have no idea how good a GREAT cup of coffee sounds right now. Atlanta has crap for coffee. There are starbucks all over the place, and if you don't want starbucks, there is Seattle's Best at Borders (of course, seattle's best is the only thing worse than starbucks). I want real, good-tasting coffee from a unique coffeeshop.

I have to admit, I'm not superpsyched for the actual wedding...Rachel is one of the last high school friends to get married. All my college roommates are married, and I saw a class picture of my senior class from high school and I went through it pointing and saying, "married, married, married, engaged, married, if he gets married before me I'll scream, married, engaged, married with kid, all-but-engaged, me, married, single, dating, dating, married, married with kid, divorced with kid, bachelor forever, etc. etc." Get the picture? Probably about 85% of my senior class is married or engaged. There's a part of me that's jealous of know who you're hopefully going to spend the rest of your life with would be great. But you know what? If I had been married, or even dating someone, I would never have done the things I've done (the good, adventurous, once-in-your-lifetime kind of thing). If I was dating/engaged/married, would I have been able to quit my job and completely uproot myself and move to Atlanta? I've also discovered I'm somewhat scared of getting married. I want the stability, but I've also seen the reality of what can happen. Sometimes I wish I could have an arranged marriage and then just make it work. I want kids, hands down, I want kids. I even see myself marrying someone who already has kids, but yeah, I'm scared of marriage. I'm not scared of commitment, just marriage. Part of that is the fear of losing my freedom and individuality. I don't want to just be someone's wife. I'm me...and I will be me always. The man I marry cannot want to squash that. He will have to want me and encourage me to pursue the things I want to do. I will do the same for him--it's not a selfish thing. I'm going to marry a 'go-getter'--someone with an enormous spirit for getting up and going--taking advantage of opportunities and not be content with just staying still. We'll take on the world together--as equal partners on a team and with God before us. If I find a man like that, then I'll marry him in a heartbeat. I don't think I've ever met a man like that. So in the meantime, I'm content with being single. I won't date just to date. I have this ability to know when someone is definitely not the one...I'll meet a guy, and even if he's handsome and a possibility, or if he likes me more than just a friend (which doesn't really happen that often...very rarely actually), I stop, consult God, and I tend to get my answer right away. Now, whether or not I go with the answer or if I torture myself until I finally accept the answer is a whole other matter lol. You know, like when God says, "No, he's not it" but you really like the guy so you just keep pursuing the guy and hoping God's answer will change? I learned to just start accepting the answer right off the bat.

Ok, I got off on a tangent. I'm done now. Sorry.

so anyway, Boston in a month! Wooo!!! :o)

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

It's GPOYW! :o)

Here's a picture of the day I passed out at Six Flags Magic Mountain (taken before the passing out):

I'm in the middle--it was one of those brunette periods. I was 19.
There were a few different factors in the "why" I passed out, but that's all in the past, no need to rehash. It still ended up being a fun day once they let me leave first aid after convincing them I did not need to go to the hospital. We even got a no-wait pass to the ride I passed out in line for.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


So...I am now addicted to 21 JumpStreet. You know, Johnny Depp's 80's cop show? The opening and closing credits are pretty hilarious they're so bad, but the actual show I'm loving. How can you go wrong with Johnny Depp, Holly robinson-peete (pre-Mr. Cooper), and the guy who played TJ on Gilmore Girls?

There's my admission of a guilty pleasure for the week.


That giant Jesus statue in Ohio at Solid Rock church (also known as "touchdown Jesus") was burnt to a pile of ash and metal after lightning struck it last night.

It may be totally wrong, but my first thought at reading the story? "Wonder what's goin on behind those closed doors..."

My second thought was "Clearly, Jesus did not think it was a good likeness of him" (what? we have NO IDEA what Jesus looks like, so why are we building ginormous statues of him?)

Here's what it did look like:

Say "byebye":

Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus

The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus is a very intriguing film. It also happens to be the last film that Heath Ledger made before his sad, unexpected death. The film, including his part, wasn't even finished when he died (only 1/3 of the filming was finished). You would think the film would get scrapped, right? Because of the strange premise of the film, they were able to substitute people for parts not completed. Colin Farrell, Jude Law, and Johnny Depp stepped up to finish the role. I personally wish they had switched Colin Farrell and Johnny Depp around because I would've much rather seen more of Johnny than Colin...but know that it just wasn't possible. Turns out Depp was filming Public Enemies at the same time and was only available for 1 day. The film was rather strange, and you have to follow it closely, but I think I liked it. I think I like it more knowing the story behind the making of the film--especially since all three sub actors had their paychecks go directly to Heath Ledgers young daughter.

Monday, June 14, 2010

THIS. I want this. NOWWWWW

I want this so bad, you have no idea. Just looking at this picture is making the craving even bigger. 10 more days...just 10 more days...ugh


I'm not a fan of Mondays. I wish Monday was part of the weekend...but then I suppose Tuesday would be the new Monday and I wouldn't like Tuesday. Or I would still like Tuesday because by getting the extra weekend day, I would get enough rest and relaxation to go about the rest of the work week refreshed and ready.

It feels like 100 degrees outside right now. That's what says anyway...I'm in my very well-air conditioned office right now. It's actually too cold, but whatever.

I don't know if it is the humidity, the pollen, or both, but I've had a headache since Friday night. I think I took enough excedrine and zyrtec that it's pretty much gone at the moment. So that's good. Though I'm not too sure either are supposed to be taken on a detox but I don't care. I hate headaches and will do almost anything to get rid of one.

The office is like a ghost town. It's so quiet. Only Lucia and I are here...well until the techs get here from FL, but they'll be going right down to the new office to install everything technology-related. Wait till 3...then it'll be just me. That's when the music gets turned on.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

USA vs. England - this kinda sums it up

I love the "just the red part, red and white, that's england, not the blue that's scotland."


While I was running this morning, I came to some conclusions.

1. Atlanta is basically one huge sauna.

2. People are very fitness and environmental oriented. It's nice.

3. My dog has never chewed on anything but bones and a blanket...and then last night I caught him as he was about to clamp down on my most expensive pair of shoes. I haven to be more careful with my shoes.

4. Why on earth do we call american football "football" and rest of the entire world football "soccer." Football broken down is 'foot' and 'ball'. You use your feet to move the ball. American football is just a bunch of bruts smashing and tackling each other with their HANDS. They only use their feet for kickoffs and field goals. American football should not be called football. Football (the real world kind) is so much more intricate and tough game. and the players are so much nicer to look at. I love football...I personally root for West Ham United, though most of my other football-loving friends are Arsenal, and one is Chelsea (seriously, chelsea?). Obviously for the world cup I'm rooting for USA (we have 2 west ham players by the way), also South Africa, France, and Brazil... Why these choices? I have many South African friends, I love France, and Maria (my mom's friend) is a mayor in Brazil.

Ok, enough of this, I'm watching the England vs. USA match.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Off 5th...or 400...

Going to try to get to the outlets tonight...closes at 9. 40 minutes away with minimal traffic but it's rush hour (which in Atlanta is 4pm to 7pm) so I may only get 30 minutes to shop lol but it beats sittin at home...and I look too cute today to just sit at home. What? I do. I get to wear jeans on Fridays so I get a lot more choices.


Ok, just in case there has been any confusion...

Squirducks are not real animals. I made up the word because the Squirrel was "barking" which sounds like quacking and ducks quack.

I apologize for any issues.



If You Don't want "heavy" on your friday, don't read...

So the church I went to on Sunday had a special guest, Ted Shuttlesworth, come and speak and they had campmeetings all week. This man is a speaker of the signs of the times and I suppose you could call him a prophet and healer. He gave a good message on Sunday that was refreshingly not doom and gloom as many signs of the times messages tend to be...although to be honest I just remember liking the message, I didn't take notes so I don't remember what he actually said. But he got me thinking, which sometimes is not good, but this time it is...and not confrontational as my thinking usually is. I've been surrounded by the Christian world my whole life and an active part of it for about 2 years. And so many people that I've spoken to (outside of Gateway) seem to take on this 'doom and gloom' kind of approach to the rapture, and the 'signs of the times.' I often hear things like, "ohhh, Obama being president is a sign of the end times, now what will we do?" and "oh there's war in the middle east, the end is near!" (although, really, when HASN'T there been war in the middle east?), "earthquakes and hurricanes are overtaking the world, Jesus is coming soon." Now, emphasis tends to get lost in writing--those statements don't seem bad, right? Jesus coming back isn't a bad thing. The problem is that the way many people say these kinds of statements, it's in fear and sadness and an overall, "oh no!" kind of way. If you believe in Jesus, God, the Holy Spirit, and have a personal relationship, then you should be rejoicing! I personally don't believe the whole 2012 thing and am certainly not convinced that the end is near, but if it is, I am glad. Why would one rather live on this earth than in the heavenly earth that will be? I don't know about you, but I want to walk on a gold street. So what if the end is near?? Great! If you are a Christian--a follower of Christ if you rather--than you have nothing to fear. Here's a thought (oh hey it's kind of controversial), and it's just a thought--not necessarily something I actually believe--but I've heard and some of my family have said this: "You know the US isn't a country mentioned in Revelation..." and it pretty much ends there. Think about this for a second: Christians are raptured before all the horrors begin (this is what I believe), America was built as a Christian nation and let's say that the highest percentage of the rapture is American (stay with me lol) and America's population is signficantly lowered as a result. Theoretically, after the rapture, America would most definitely cease to be a great power, if a power at all, in the world. It wouldn't be necessary for America to be mentioned in Revelation. JUST A THEORY--REMEMBER I DIDN'T SAY I ACTUALLY BELIEVED THAT. It's just a thought that popped into my head as I was thinking. Anyway, I say, "bring on the end times!" If it happens in my lifetime then great, if not, I'm still ending up in the same place, I just may have to wait a little longer. No earthly being can say when Christ is coming back...hence the whole "thief in the night" thing. Yes we are to be ready. So be ready, be JOYFUL people! Not 'oh it's Y2K' get ready, but get your hearts, your souls ready!

I like what CS Lewis says, "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." And we are, we are made for the new heaven, not this worldly earth.

It is hard for me to understand how a believer could not rejoice in this:

Revelation 21
1And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea.

2And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.

3And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God.

4And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

5And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful.

That was heavy, but it was weighing on my heart since Sunday and had to share it.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Mohair vs. Environmental Destruction

Meanwhile, Congress mocks Kevin Costner to his face for trying to help stop the oil spill, and oil keeps spilling into the gulf destroying a multitude of the environment and people's sources of income. Clearly, press conferences with GOATS are more important. Lovely government we have, eh?

How Does One Walk In These Babies??

I mentioned Gaga's crazy heel-less shoes a few posts ago and how I was fascinated by them. Well, here they are:

Seriously, HOW?! ...and why.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010


I ebay'd Christian Louboutins. SUCH a bad idea. Luckily the pair that I reeeeeeeeeeeallly want weren't on there. However, there were others that were pretty.

Calm down, I told myself no.


This may not be Tumblr but I don't care. I also don't like passing up opportunities to share adorable/beautiful/hot pictures of myself so I am bring GPOYW to blogger. Oh yeah, GPOYW means "Gratuitous Picture of Yourself Wednesday." So be sure to "tune in" every Wednesday to see a picture of me. ;) cute am I?? I mean are we hehe. Me and the brother many many many years ago. I think I was 3...and even 22 years later, I still enjoy making faces at the camera. Drove my college roommates nuts.

Bearded Lady Discovers Electrolisys?

Facebook ads are crazy things a lot of the time. This one caught my eye though:

The caption was "Never Shave Again!" ... Did this poor girl have to shave her face everyday? Actually, make that, did this girl have to shave her face?

This Can Be Yours!

For Only $32,000,000. Ever dream of living in a Manhattan townshouse on the Upper East or West Sides? Ever wonder how much that would cost? My guess would've been $10M...I was wrong. I guess unless I win the lotto jackpot, I will not be owning one of these in my lifetime. sad. :(

Tuesday, June 8, 2010


That's right. Squirducks.

In GA we have these:

It may LOOK like a squirrel (playing a banjo), and it may WALK (scurry) like a squirrel, but let me tell you, it SOUNDS like a duck.

I got home, get out of my car and hear quacking. I look around for a duck and realize it's coming from up in the trees and I ponder this because to my knowledge ducks don't fly. They certainly aren't found in tall trees, and yet I continue to stare up into the trees trying to see a duck. All of a sudden a squirrel catches my eye. It is straight as a pin (even it's tail) and it is quacking. I'm not kidding. It was making the noise and that noise sounded just like a quacking duck.



Ok, my website is coming...hopefully soon. I've now got ideas coming out my ears so I've got to see what the webmaster is capable of creating.

I'm pretty sure the colors make him want to throw up, but I think they're fun and definitely summery. It will be so much more fun and exciting to go there than here. I promise!

Think carnivals, cotton candy, and sparkles. It's gonna be like a pastel rainbow threw up hahaha :)

Monday, June 7, 2010


I wish I could paint. I get these great ideas in my head for paintings and when I get to it and put color to canvas, it's just sad. Like, really awful. I really really suck at painting. I should stick to my other creative outlets. Writing and singing and acting...these things I'm great at. No more painting. It's a great outlet for stress until you step back and look at the craptastic thing and then it's just depressing.

And Grandmas, don't try to tell me I can, because I can't. I can't paint. nope. It's best to be honest. I'm 25. I can't paint. Just give me my guitar, piano, and typewriter and I'm happy. I don't care that I can't paint. I've finally accepted it. It's time to move on...after I redo the really bad abstract thing I tried to do for my music corner. And by really bad, I mean a blind dog could've done a better job.


This Makes Me Laugh

...totally something that would happen to me.

Me on a Nearly Daily Basis

This popped up on my home page when I turned on the computer. I laughed because if you make the closet bigger and a walk-in, that is totally day I should probably organize my closet. It would save me so much time in the morning.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

I'm going with no title

Unknowingly make a couple wrong turns in an unfamiliar trail/path system and your 6 mile run turns into 11 miles and you nearly pass out and throw up because it's hot and humid and sunny and you're dehydrated because your bottle of water is in the car.
But once the world stopped spinning and my eyes and brain could focus again, I felt pretty good. Think I'll do 11 miles next Saturday...but before it switches from bearable to please kill me before the humidity sucks out all my oxygen.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Memories are Great Things

Something triggered my mind to probably the first real memory I have of Ashley and Laura. Now I can't stop laughing as I remember many things from the 2 years we lived together. We were absolutely nuts. But it was a fun crazy.

Not crazy like my perpetually lying roommate I had senior year for a semester, or my freshman year roommate that tried to pick fights with me in her sleep and sleepwalked freaking me out. Just crazy like we were carefree and living the time we had a halloween party and one guy dressed in tiny hooters costume...very tiny. costume. yeah. burned into my brain. lol He really liked Laura hahaha

So yeah, my first time out with them and their friend Sara was to Beverly Hills to go to The Farm (the best salad EVER) and we didn't make it there in time because some idiot decided to try and jump from an overpass onto the 10 and traffic was being rerouted and we had to stop at a very sketchy 7-11 somewhere and sara got out and asked for directions. It was kinda scary. LA is a scary place depending on where you are. The area a block from Brentwood is actually worse than Watts, so its easy to end up in a not so good area. Anyway, we managed to keep ourselves busy. The 3 of them introduced me to their craziness. I joined in And I never looked back. The farm was closed so we hit up hollywood instead. And that was the start of a long, crazy, fun, wonderful friendship. :)

Hah, I'll have to take a picture of my birthday card from this year. It illustrates us very well. lol...there are tassles involved hahaha
Ok, sleepy time.

Shoes are Basic Human Right.

OK, so, since I don't want to drive in the lunchtime traffic, I basically fiddle around on the internet during my lunch. I'm prone to perez hilton and cocoperez and a variety of other sites...economist, huffington post, paula deen, etc. Well, on cocoperez, I came across the following picture.

I love shoes, cool shoes, unique shoes, any shoe any time, you should see me try to organize my shoes. Which I have to do tomorrow by the way. I have no idea how I'm going to do that in an organized and inexpensive fashion. But right, so I'm not sure I would actually buy the shoes the girl has on in the picture, but I am obsessed with them none-the-less. I just want to try them on and see how one goes about walking in them. Lady Gaga also has a pair of shoes that are even more heel-less than these.

Seriously?! TODAY is National Donut Day?

Of course the first day of detox is national donut day. I love donuts. I didn't use to but then I moved to the freakin donut capital of the world (LA County) where there is a donut shop on nearly every corner (ok, slight exaggeration). In fact, when Laura, Ashley, and I (and Caren, though she was well-behaved) lived in my townhouse, it was right across the street from Christy's Donuts. Not the best donuts in the world, but that didn't stop us. Oh no. Christy knew our names. More so Ashley and Laura, but still. OH and my friends used Christy's against me senior year. They call and say "hey, we're getting donuts by your place, come out and meet us". So I think, "doooonuuuttsss..." and go out. Only to be attacked by hoodlums dressed all in black (they clearly didn't learn from getting busted freshman year). They grabbed me, blindfolded me and shoved me in a car and then the next thing I know I'm flying through the air and landing in University's FREEZING cold pool. But I took down Brian and Bixby with me. But they used donuts to get me. Such sacrilege. Oh and here, my wonderful friends documented the attack.

So, everyone, enjoy your free donut and coffee beverage while I sit here and drink my broccoli and carrots. You know you're really jealous and want to drink this too:

Thursday, June 3, 2010

No Mirror? No Problem...for a Pirate.

Soooooo, I got a new computer the other day. My Dell (or Dapple as people liked to call it because I slapped an apple sticker over top of the dell logo), was a good computer and well-built. I had it for 5 years. But it was very slow, gave me the blue screen of death at least once a week, and would take 10 minutes to start.

I did a lot of research because I wanted a good computer. I made some lovely pro/con lists which I use to make most of my most important decisions. I've wanted an apple for a long time and so I very nearly threw caution to the wind and bought one. But I didn't. I thought about why I wanted an apple and realized that with Windows 7 and new pc programs in the world, everything I would use an apple for, I could easily do on a it came down to realizing that the only reason I wanted an apple was because it was an apple. 'Apple' as a brand comes with a certain stigma--the "I'm hip and cool and look at me with my apple computer, my life revolves around brand-names." Which is totally what I use to be like. But it's not worth paying at least twice as much when I can get the same stuff out of a PC. Also, I've always been annoyed by not having a numberpad on a laptop and my new computer has one. And a quick disclaimer - if you have an apple that's great - maybe you need it for things that pc doesn't do as well. It's when you get an apple...or anything material...because you think it comes with a certain 'cool factor.' Hey, my Louis Vuitton comes with a significant cool factor, so I get the desire, but you know what? 3 years later and I don't care. I have a $700 stuff-holder. I could've used that $700 much more responsibly. However, I should warn you, should I ever get the chance/opportunity/funds, I will get my dream car (White Range Rover with light tan leather interior with black leather trim) and bags are very different things. Well, I'm totally off track. That's not what I was going for. Back to the purpose:

My new computer has a built-in webcam. This is a fancy new gadget for me. My dell did not have this. Actually, I'm not sure they existed at all when I got my dell. I also remember when the internet didn't even exist and I learned DOS and played a one-dimensional Oregon Trail (I) in computer class in elementary school. You know what I discovered about the webcam? I now use the 'test webcam' feature in skype instead of a mirror.

Also, I wish I was a pirate. It'd be cool to be a pirate. Not the modern day ones, but the old 16th and 17th century pirates. I was clearly born a few centuries too late.


Today I ordered internet for at home. It's going to be weird having internet anywhere I have my computer. I couldn't afford even a dial-up connection when I lived in Jersey, so this will be the first time in nearly a year that I'll have it (at home...I had it at work of course). I'll actually have mobile internet so anywhere there is a Clear 4G network, Ill have internet, so all of greater Atlanta, Las Vegas, Seattle, Chicago, Philadelphia, and I think Boston. It's awesome - I could take my computer to the woods with me, sit on a rock next to the river and have internet. I wouldn't do that considering I don't even take my phone with me when I'm in the woods because it's my peaceful, no technology time. If people can't wait an hour for me to do my trail run, then they need to take a technology break too.

So yeah, according to the email I just received, I'll get my usb thingy in the mail tomorrow...just in time for the weekend. Hulu won't know what hit it. Nor will Netflix. I'm not going to veg out and just watch nonsense all day, I just like having it on in the background while I clean and organize.

Actually, I think I will paint tomorrow. I have 2 canvases in need of color. Oh and by tomorrow, I don't mean tomorrow because I just realized tomorrow is Friday, not Saturday. I will paint Saturday. Now, I could've just deleted the 'tomorrow' and typed in 'Saturday' and then you would have never known my mistake. But I am not the government.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Home Sweet Home

This isn't somehing you hear many people saying (sincerely, without sarcasm), but I loved being back in Jersey this past weekend. I'd been gone for a couple months and missed my church family so much. Gateway became and will always be "home" for me.

Saturday night I drove to the Knudsens to meet up with That's so Raven to go out see a movie, catch up, but instead we ended up staying at the Knudsens making and eating smores around a fire in the backyard...until it started to rain. Well, actually, we sat in the rain until the fire was almost out and then went inside. The rain felt good.

Sunday I woke up knowing it was absolutely going to be an amzing day. I was going to be back at Gateway seeing my friends and family in Christ. I was going to meet my friend Becca's 2 1/2 month old twins, and James was officially back from China. So yeah, I was right - it was a pretty darn near-perfect day. I loved Becca's babies--Phoenix and Fiona. I was pretty much constantly holding one or the other. They were beautiful and sweet and I want one haha. Although, there were a couple comments made about how maybe I shouldn't be holding a 2 month old baby after having been gone for 2 or 3 months...and sitting next to the guy that's been gone for 10 months and we were both back for the first time lol. Of course, if you know anything about either of us, you know it was just kind of a ridiculously funny comment...because as far as I know, my name's not Mary (if you catch my drift). I also discovered that car seats are not as easy to work as they appear...and getting a real baby into one is not as easy as getting dolls in. With dolls you can shove 'em in, move them however you want, etc. but with a real baby, you can't just take their arm off and put it back I hated to let Becca take the babies home, but then they came back for youth group later.

For years I always thought "Yeah, I guess I'll have a kid...just one...cuz you are supposed to have kids, so fine, I'll have one" but I certainly wasn't dying to get married and actually have said kid. When I worked at the preschool, I started realizing that I really do want kids...which is odd considering some of the monsters I had. The worst one was actually my favorite. Josh. He caused a lot of trouble but he was such a sweetheart...and hilarious. Bu, as soon as I had Becca's babies in my arms this weekend, it was an instant realization that I do want children - I can't imagine not having my own children one day (biological or adopted, doesn't matter). It was kind of like the second Phoenix was in my arms, my biological clock started ticking--loudly. I know it is a part of God's will for my life to have a family so I am just going to have to trust God for the right man to marry and start a family with--to spend my life with. He's out there, and it will be the right timing at some point...I just pray that point is sooner rather than later. God knows the desires of my heart and my future husband's heart so the hearts just have to come together. I just keep thinking that after the guys God's allowed to walk out of my life, the real man for me is going to be amazing. If I thought those guys were great and perfect for me (at first anyway), imagine what the actual "One" will be like. In the meantime, I'll just keep dating Jesus :)

Anyway, the funniest thing happened at youth group. Well, I find it funny...Raven looked like she was going to murder me. You all probably remember the infamous game I always get injured in and yet continue to play--Circle of Death. I didn't think I would be playing because my COD partner had been banned from playing shortly after I left. However, Shawn and Simon decided since I was back, she could play. As soon as the circles start going, my phone rings...I probably shouldn't have looked at it, but I did and I answered. I saw it was James and immediately answered without thinking because for the past 10 months this is what you had to do. You had to answer when he called because you couldn't just call him back. I forgot he was back in America...eve though it was his ringtone and the display said "James" not the generic ring and the display saying "00012345..." Anyway, I answered and Raven saw me and started yelling frantically for me to hang up...instead I continued playing and try to hear what James is saying at the same time...even get through the first round but since I didn't really understand a single thing he said, I left the circle for a couple minutes. Luckily for me, Simon let us jump back in the game when I came back in the room. If he hadn't have done that, I wouldn't be writing this...because I'd be dead. There is a reason Raven was banned from the game.

Monday was very emotional for me. I hated having to leave much that I cried when beginning my drive back to GA. I don't doubt that I'm supposed to be in GA at this point in time, but that doesn't make it easy. It doesn't mean that my heart doesn't break a little bit everytime I have to leave my friends and church. I just pray that God will reveal His will for my life more and more each day. Franklin Roosevelt said once, "we have nothing to fear, but fear itself"--but in reality, we have nothing to fear but God and if we fear God, we have nothing to fear. Nothing can beat us with God on our side. Life will get us down, and try to break us, but it won't succeed.

Ok, that was a long post. I'm done. Go back to your life now.