Saturday, May 29, 2010

Yes, I do look like Katherine Heigl.

So today I had to get up from a deep sleep earlier than I would've wished because I had an eye doctor appointment to get to. I walk in there and well, here's a transcript:

Dr: You look really familiar
Me: oh...uh...
Dr: Have I seen you before?
Me: No I'm pretty sure you haven't.
Dr: You've never come in here before? with a friend or family member?
Me: Nope
Dr: Do you have family members that see me?
Me: No...(at this point I'm thinking, I look familiar because I look like Katherine Heigl, but decide against saying anything about it)
Dr: Oh, ok. come on back.
---10 minutes later---
Dr: Oh I know! You know you look just like that actress that's been in a lot of movies lately...she was on Grey's Anatomy...
Me: (thinking, AND there it is...) haha yeah, I've been told that before...quite a bit actually.
Dr: wow, you really do. That's not a bad thing, if only you had her career and life, huh?
Me: Hah, from your lips to God's ears...

She did the rest of the exam and then sat back and said "Congratulations"...My first thought was she was going to finish that sentence with a "you're officially legally blind" (i have really bad eyes, though not nearly that bad). Instead she finished it with some of the most magical words I've ever heard: "you're a candidate for LASIK." Now all I need is $2500. I told her about my mom's lasik dilemma--how she was told her corneas were too thin for lasik surgery. She said it is a possibility it could be the same for me, but there is now a procedure for young people (pre-bifocal) that is basically a lens implant in the eye over the pupil that stays there forever. So, I can now see a light at the end of the God-forsaken tunnel of vision hell. A life without contacts and glasses (until I get old and need reading glasses) is within my sight...maybe even within my grasp in the next year. I should be able to get LASIK by next summer. I'm guessing the implants are more involved and expensive so if I cannot get lasik, I'll have to save up for awhile longer with a 5 year goal. But hopefully lasik will work perfectly.

Now I need a little nap before I get ready to go out and have some fun...hopefully the dilation in my eyes is gone by then...I look kinda freaky...almost demonic with my giant black pupils and nearly-gone irises.

Driver in the Dark

So that I wouldn't lose a day, I decided to drive up to Jersey after work Thursday. I managed to get in the car and going by 6:30pm. It was going pretty well until 2am hit. I was getting tired at 1am, but then as I was fishing around behind the drivers seat with my right arm trying to get ahold of my lunch bag with all the diet coke in it (what? my eyes never left the road), I knocked the dog's water bowl (that perches on the middle console) off and directly into my lap. So I my right side was soaked with chilly water. That'll wake you up. I'm pretty sure that's when the caffeine stopped working (even though I kept shoveling it in). At 3am I decided I'd better get off at the next rest area and take a power nap. After my 15 minute nap I set out again...willing sunrise to come sooner. The sun rose, but it didn't really help too much. I'd been awake for 24 hours at that point. But then I managed to knock the water bowl AGAIN (missing my body) and that jump-started my heart for a bit. When I finally got to the house at about 9am, I was no longer tired. Well, I guess I was probably tired, but I wasn't sleepy anymore. I don't think I actually took a nap until about 3 or 4 in the afternoon and it was only for an hour. I went to bed about 10 last night and only woke up 12 hours later because the alarm went off. I'm still tired.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

THIN.

For my birthday, my brother and Zach got me 3 months of Netflix (and I'm LOVING it). Anyway, taking a break from scripted entertainment, I queued a documentary titled "Thin." It's an inside look at an eating disorder treatment center and the focus was on Anorexia/Bulemia. It's an issue/disease that is close to my heart. My adolescent psychology term paper (back when I was working on my Master's in Christian Counseling) was about eating disorders. I get really passionate about it too--which becomes very evident when someone tries to tell me that either 1)it doesn't matter, so they are a little thin, or 2)It's not a disease, it's just a selfish decision. First of all, "it doesn't matter"? Up to 24 million men and women suffer from an eating disorder. Only 10% obtain treatment. 1 in 7 of them will die because of it. THAT doesn't matter? And secondly, not a disease? It IS. It is a psychological disease. Someone who is 80 pounds and yet sees nothing but obesity when they look at themselves is a disease. Do they make the choice to not eat or to purge? Yes. BUT they feel they have no choice. They see fat. They see "pig." Their brain won't let them see themselves for what they really are. Towards the end of the documentary, a 15 year old girl, who is 80-some pounds, is sobbing and just keeps repeating "I just want to be thin. I just want to be thin." She is literally dying from starvation, but can't recognize it. Even when they do recognize it, the disease as overtaken their lives so much that they have to fight minute by minute to try to get healthy. Of that 10% that receive treatment? 50% of them relapse after being released. Which leads me to wonder how successful can eating disorder centers be? Taking them out of life and putting them (usually women) into a controlled environment only to just send them out into the real world to fend for themselves (sure there are after program outpatient services, but they are optional and often not utilized because insurance ran out halfway through treatment). Though I'd have to do major research before coming to an actual conclusion about treatment centers.

There was my venting. It's been bottled up since I saw the documentary last night. Really though, you need to see it. Too many people don't realize they know someone with an eating disorder...or if they do, they don't understand it (like the tattoo artist in the documentary that i want to go find and smack around who falls into the "so what" category I hate). Right, so Documentary. Thin. Watch it. Netflix has it.

Simple, Yet Hilarious

Normally, when I get home from work, the door unlocking signals to Quincy that I'm home and he's ready and waiting.

Yesterday, however, I open the door and he's down for the count on the couch. He's even snoring and seriously snuggled himself down into the pillows halfway upside-down with all four legs going in different directions. Sadly, there is no picture because I couldn't contain my laughter and it woke him up.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

An IKEA Adventure of Situational Comedic Proportions

On this past Saturday I got up and went to IKEA to get my furniture – bookshelves, office chair, some other things and let me tell you, those bookshelves are heavy. I couldn’t lift it, so I kind of maneuvered the cart to “catch” the bookshelf as I shoved it off the pile with all my might. A man decided this wasn’t the best idea so he stepped in and put the shelf on my cart for me. Then when I got to my car I thought I could just flip down the backseats and kind of shove/seesaw/propel the bookshelf into the car. Again, someone came by and thought this idea might not work and she had her son put everything in my car for me. Then I got home. Luckily I found that the parking corral in front of the sidewalk and thus closest to my apartment door was open so I backed in as far as I could leaving only about 15-20 feet between my car and my door. I looked around and saw that for once the whole area was desolate of people…meaning I would have to somehow do this myself. I shoved a bunch of crap under the bookshelf to lift it up and then went to the front passenger side and just shoved the sucker out the back of the trunk where it landed on the ground with a loud thud. I then proceeded to drag/shove it to the door and inside…where I had to then put it together. It wasn’t hard…and I didn’t irreversibly mess it up like I did the last one I put together. I hung a mirror and some pictures and shelves and put all my books in the bookshelves and then I collapsed on the couch in exhaustion after my 8 hour ordeal of IKEA furniture.

Today (Tuesday) I was driving to work and as I was sitting at a traffic light I looked to my right and saw 3 guys (1 pretty old, and two probably in their 30s) walking down the sidewalk away from me with hiking packs on their back and hiking poles in their hands. Then I looked down and saw that attached to a rope that was attached to the hiking packs were tires. Car tires. These guys were hiking through Atlanta (seemingly), a city, dragging a car tire behind each of them. I just kind of stared with my head cocked to the side and said, “huh….well…alright. To each his own?”

California Dreams...unraveled with Hope

I could say that if I actually got around to having internet set up at my apartment, I would update on a regular basis, but honestly, I probably wouldn’t. Maybe I’d update more often than I do now, but still it wouldn’t be much…even though I actually write these at home and then just upload them at the office…if I remember.

Anyway, continuation of business trip out west:

Drove from Vegas to LA. Hotel was next door to Hooters…saw many gross men. I was up super early to be at the warehouse by 7. And since I had to take the 405, I had to leave by 6:15 at the latest. I spent a couple hours in the warehouse talking to some of the guys and going through day-to-day operations before one of them took me out on the road to visit sites. First stop was Venice. I discovered you don’t have to be down by the beach to come across the weird Venicians. There really is something special about them (like eat paste special btw) – why do they flock to Venice anyway? The last stop of the day was all the way up by Magic Mountain. The site (a residential house) was a typical 1 story, ranch, small stucco rectangle socal house and while the inside was gorgeous, the backyard was awful. It looked like a junk yard, which is a shame. I’m talking “hoarder” status. Anyway, Friday I got to go up to Pasadena/Azusa area – saw my alma-mater. Also quickly noticed that in the 3 years since I graduated, there has been added to the store complex across the street from East campus among other things, a Jamba Juice and a Pinkberry. I was not happy. They also finally installed a traffic light at main campus entrance/exit so that 1. pedestrians and cyclists could stop getting hit and 2. people trying to leave campus in a vehicle wouldn’t have to either wait forever or risk their lives to pull out onto the road. When I was there I would either turn right, or drive back through the mods housing to get out. Had in-n-out and most importantly, COFFEE BEAN!!!!!!!!!! I missed it so much!! My amazing cousin Michelle had sent me their vanilla powder to make my own vanilla latte at home, but that ran out and so anyway, I was overly-ecstatic to drink my coffee bean vanilla latte. Anyways, I learned a lot about what the techs and supervisors do and that the process is a lot more involved than I ever realized. It also helped me understand how to write the policies to better fit the company rather than just writing a bunch of rules and regulations when I had no idea how any of it worked.

Friday evening I drove down to Lake Forest to Heather and Brian’s house. I didn’t know it was a house though. I figured they just shared an apartment. As I drove closer and closer and then turned into a development I realized, “They live in a HOUSE?!” It’s a very nice house too. With the absolute BIGGEST hot tub I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s practically the size of a small pool. Brian was MIA so when the girls got there we all went out to dinner and had a great time of girl-talk. It was so nice to see them all again. I hadn’t seen any of them in at least 2 years…and Christy I hadn’t seen since senior year of college, but hadn’t even really hung out with her since freshman year. Which leads me to this thought: The perceptions of people we meet in freshman year of college are generally wrong. Not that Christy wasn’t nice, but she is definitely not a goody-two-shoes as I had perceived. Of course, there was a part of me that was just jealous because both my boyfriend at the time and the guy I liked actually liked her…kinda held that against her. But that’s really old news. She’s awesome, as is Emily (who I really just didn’t know that well at all). It all made me really wish I had done SO many things differently. How different would’ve my life been if I’d made different choices? But I guess I can’t really fret about it. What’s done is done. We can’t go back, so have no regrets. Why get stuck looking at the past when there is a huge future full of new choices to make staring us in the face (or in the back if your facing your past). I’m not saying you should just forget the past. You shouldn’t. You can’t (at least not without hypnosis). Your past helped make you the person you are today. Every single part of it – good, bad, and worse. You can’t forget, but you can deal with it and move on—don’t dwell on what might’ve or could’ve been—look to what will be.

Everyone I saw told me at least once that I should move back to Cali. I love it there, I really do...but that's not where I'm supposed to be--at least not right now. I'm not saying I'll never go back, but not right now. Last time I was there I made an impulse decision that I was going to move back as soon as I was done in Spain. Spain ended sooner than planned and I found I was not moving to Cali. There are reasons. The main point behind the reasons is that when I first went back I had lost my identity and was desperate to find it again and thought CA was it. Then I went to Spain and things changed. I tried to find identity in the wrong things and in the end came back to the only identity that matters - identity in Christ. I do nothing without taking it to God and it's clear that CA is not my place right now...and not because i JUST moved to hotlanta. I love my friends there and they mean the world to me, but in some regards, I've just moved on from that life that I lived in CA and to go back would be backstepping in my life. If there comes a time that moving back to CA would be stepping forward and upward, then I'll do it. But that time isn't right now.

So that was heavy, Anyway, Saturday I drove up PCH and it was gorgeous. The houses on the beach side (north of Manhattan beach) are so unique and crazy (even though not my personal style). Then when you hit Malibu the cars parked in the driveways are even more impressive. Drove right on by Moonshadows (let’s face it, there isn’t much draw if Mel “sugartits” Gibson isn’t there getting his flirt on with ladies younger than some of his children. The water though…the water was gorgeous. It was sparkling. I love the ocean. I’m not a huge fan of actually going in the water, but to be on the beach or on the rocks or on a boat – I love that. I love the smell of the sea (which is why I had the windows down on a pretty cold day). I think I missed my calling as a pirate queen (only by a few hundred years). I should clarify…there are some oceans I don’t like…or parts of an ocean. The Atlantic Ocean between Cape Cod and the Carolinas is not much to behold…especially in Jersey. The Pacific Ocean, the Caribbean (which I know is not an ocean), the Mediterranean—these I love and want a house on each of them one day to go to when I feel like it haha(France, Central Coast, CA, and maybe Barbados or St. Martin (the French side)).

I headed to the airport and hopped on the redeye back to Atlanta. I got in about 6am so I somehow made it home without falling asleep and forced myself awake at 10 to go get the puppy from the pethotel. When I got there, he had just finished his morning playtime in the playroom with the other dogs, so I asked, “Did he actually play?” The guy was like kinda nervously, “Noooo, not really, he watched and looked like he wanted to play but it was like he wasn’t sure what to do.” I just laughed and told him, “yeah that sounds about right.” As soon as I opened the apartment door, Quincy took off and jumped on the couch and laid down…and then I did and fell asleep for awhile. Those red-eyes are killer.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Birthday Weekend and Vegas

Had lots of fun for my birthday weekend. After cleaning my apartment and setting up the guest room, I went to pick up my mom at the airport. Saturday I made my mom breakfast (Read: I poured cocoa puffs and milk into a bowl), and then we headed out to an antique mall in Marietta. She also got the opportunity to see the giant chicken first hand. Impressed she was haha. Found a couple things at the mall – a book from 1911 about the siege of Boston (Lexington and Concord), and an old food chopper from the 50s/60s for the kitchen. Then we did a bunch of shopping for my apartment before going back and moving some furniture around and hanging pictures and shelves. It looks really good. No pictures though until I finish the office…it’s only half done as I have to go pick up my other bookshelf…and chair. I also discovered that until I buy a gate that screws into the wall, Houdini (quincy) can no longer be kept in his room. No matter what I do, he manages to shove the gate out of the way…even if I have it barricaded with my guitar and chaise.

On Mothers Day/my birthday, we went to North Point and then I took my mom to her surprise. Jeof and I treated her to a fancy lunch at Chateau Elan. It was amazing. The food was incredible. There was Salmon Wellington with a champagne white sauce that was the best thing I’ve ever eaten. There was also prime rib, chicken lemongrass dumplings, flounder papier, sushi, bananas foster, other stuff, and the most amazing red velvet cake EVER. The only thing I didn’t like was the Caesar salad because it just had too much dressing. We were decidedly fat and happy so we went back to my apartment and vegged on the couch for a couple hours before I took her to the MARTA station. She insisted on taking the public transit train to the airport. It was still light out so I let her.

Tuesday VERY early (left home at 3am) I went to the airport to catch my flight to Vegas. Business, not pleasure. I was going to make it both, but by the time I left the office I had a migraine so I checked into my castle hotel (Excalibur) and once I got into my room (the cleaning lady was still cleaning it so I was sitting on my suitcase in the hallway) I laid down for a little bit, planning to get up and start exploring before it got dark and play some slots and blackjack. Next thing I knew, I woke up and it was 4am. Whoops. I had to take some time before I headed out to LA to at least visit a couple sites like the fountains at Caesars and look inside the Bellagio. Visit Treasure Island. BTW, the director in Vegas sounds exactly like Aiden from Sex and the City (also the groom from my big fat greek wedding)…and his name is Jim Carrey. After about a 4 hour drive, I’m now at my hotel in SoCal. Long day tomorrow meeting with one of the FiOS managers and then doing a ride along with one of the field supervisors.

I’ve decided that everytime I cross the border into Cali, my heart sings. One day, when I have the money, I will buy a house—or at least an apartment—in Cali. Either in OC or central coast. Probably central coast – less congested…and half way between my loves in San Francisco and LA/OC. I can dream, right?

K, I’m off to relax and sleep since I’ve got to be someplace between Long Beach and Whittier at 7 tomorrow morning.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Crazy NyQuil Dream

It involved me, the basement fellowship room place at first baptist of san mateo, a bunch of people I didn't consciously recognize even though it seemed like I knew them in the dream, Steve Sanders (from 90210, and not the real guy, the actual character Steve Sanders), my friend James (Teachen), and for some reason it was youth group, but I was wearing the same pajamas I was actually sleeping in.

I was on the stage behind a wall divider sitting on a box with a couple friends, talking about something...I was upset. Steve Sanders, who is evidently a close friend like a brother, comes back and sits with me and then someone says, "He's here!" and then James walks into the room coming back from his year in China and I like instantly cheered up and ran to hug him and when I finally let go of him, I realized I was wearing pajamas even though everyone else in the dream was dressed for a casual party. I wondered why I was wearing my pajamas. Then I woke up.

I think drowsy medication must have some sort of hallucinogen in it.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Again with a Fail...

I try and I try and I fail. By the time I get home I’m tired, so I don’t update. Ummmmm….so today Quincy had to go into the vet to get his teeth cleaned so I drop him off at 7am and then at 11:30ish I get a phone call with someone on the other end saying “Hi, is this Quincy’s mom?” I kinda chuckled at that but said yes…while slightly going into panic mode as she formulated the words, “Quincy’s under anesthesia right now and we’ve noticed….” He had to get some gum cut off and sent to a pathology lab to be tested…they think it’s some kind of gum disease which could explain the horrible breath. Won’t have those results till next week though.

I’m sick with a cold. I haven’t been sick in a really long time and forgot just how much I hate it. I can’t breathe I’m so stuffed up, and my head hurts and I’m tired. I’m going to be getting the dog, going home, chug some Nyquil and close my eyes. I’ll probably be able to update with some really crazy dream because that’s what Nyquil does to me. Seriously, really crazy dreams. One time I had a Nyquil dream that involved some members of my family, and logan babette, miss patty and kirk from Gilmore girls, and mark paul gosselar and we were on the set of Dallas., but it wasn’t a “set”…we were all living there like it was normal. Yeah, hello Nyquil.

I turn 25 on Sunday. Oy. A quarter of a century year old. I’m having some issues with it. Not so much with the wrinkles and such (that was my 24th birthday crisis), but with where I’m at in life. I’ve done a LOT, and had many adventures, but when I think about where I thought I’d be at 25 when I was 16 and 18…there’s just no similarity. I gave up a lot of dreams out of fear and I regret that, but what’s done is done, and I suppose there is a reason for it in the long run. God’s got me, so I’m just going to keep my head up and keep going and trusting Him. “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11.

I will have much to update on come Monday. This weekend is going to be lots of fun. Girls weekend! :o)

Also exciting is next week I have a business trip to Las Vegas and Los Angeles. I’m really psyched. I haven’t seen my LA friends in 2 years. Way too long, but when you have to work and don’t have money to spend on real food let alone traveling across the country, the time just gets away from you. I’m hoping for a visit to Disneyland. Or at least Henry’s Hat. OH and BJ’s pizza. Probably will stay away from Cabo lounge though…pretty sure my picture’s on the wall as “don’t let her in here” and it wouldn’t be a good picture either.