Sunday, May 15, 2011

Being Jaxie Has Moved

Hello All,

This blog has grown up and become it's own website, so please go to:

BeingJaxie

http://www.beingjaxie.com

Make sure you change/add it to your blogrolls, rss feeds, readers, etc.

Check it out!

Thanks!!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Heather Visits the Deep South

So, I think I mentioned on Monday that I drove down to Alabama from Nashville on Sunday to see one of my best friends. I got lost. I was actually only a mile from the church 15 minutes early when I thought my phone was telling me I was going in the wrong direction so I turned around and went 20 minutes in the wrong direction. I figured this out when I was on a tiny back country road and saw a sign that said "Tennessee State Line" -- I somehow found my way to the church. 15 minutes late. Anyway...

Heather is a total city girl. Born and raised in Costa Mesa, CA (Newport Beach).

While she's briefly been to northern California country (Fall River Mills) which from pictures and stories I've seen and heard was something I regret missing, she'd never been somewhere quite like the Deep South.

It's a whole other world, that Deep South.

Sweet Home Alabama (movie) does a pretty good job of portraying the deep south. Except that was kind of a big town in the movie.

Anyway, I got to the church and we sat through the baby dedication. The pastor prayed after EVERY SINGLE BABY. There were like 10 babies. Then he prayed an extra time for them all collectively. Barbie (Heather's mom) sent us outside. And I'm pretty sure she wished she'd come with us...that was one heck of a long service.

Anyway, I was only able to hang around for a few hours.

Which was enough to get crazy quotes a la Heather (all while driving around).

1. Heather: "Oh a tire swing!! (drive closer) ... That's a pathetic tire swing."
Me: "That's not a tire swing. That's just a tire hung on a gate to weigh it down."

2. Heather: "We have to drive to get food. Like get on the road and drive. forever. to get to anything."
Me: "Yep. Welcome to the middle of nowhere."
Heather: "...How do people live like this?!"
Me: "They cook."
Heather: "oh my god that's horrible!"

3. Heather: (after seeing some roadkill) "Did you see that? What was that? Was that an armadillo or a fox?!"
Me: "ummmmmmmmmm...well...you do know those are completely different things, right?"
Heather: "..."
Me: "was it ugly, grey, and hard looking, or soft, bushy-tailed and cute?"
Heather: "ummm..."
Me: "foxes get hit and just kinda go thump-thump. Armadillos kinda pop and explode"
Heather: "you would know that"

4. Heather: "ooooooooohhhhh!!!!"
Me: "What?!"
Heather: "a porch!!! and a swing!!!"
Me: omg...hahahahahahaa
Heather: "that's my dream! I want a porch with a porch swing! They're EVERYWHERE HERE!"



She's gonna kill me. hahaha

Fashion Rules

Lady Gaga said sometime in the last couple days that there are no rules in fashion.

I very much disagree.

For example:

Pants.

Please put them on.

You look ridiculous.

In my opinion, what Lady Gaga wears 24/7 are costumes, not fashion.

Just once, I would love for her to wear simple makeup and hair, and a dress from Ralph Lauren's or Calvin Klein's couture lines...and a simple peep-toe Louboutin heel.

Just once.

Please.

Really, she loves being a 'shockjock' so much, nothing would be more shocking than simple.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Oh my Oh my

I am officially closer to 30 than 20.

Oy.

But anyway, yesterday was Mother's Day and today is my birthday.

My mom was only a year older than I am when she had me.

No pressure.

But Mother's Day and my birthday have always been in the same week--and sometimes on the same day (like last year).

So a small collection of photos for mothers day/my birthday:

Don't you love my bonnet?


Exactly 25 years ago at my 1st bday. The cake ended up all over me and that pretty dress.


Halloween not bday, but I'm so freaking cute in my minnie mouse costume I had to add it.


4th birthday. Do I know how to feed a baby or what?


high school graduation. My makeup is horrible in this picture.

I went to Nashville this past weekend. Aunt and Uncle took me to a dinner theater that was fun. Sunday I went to the middle of nowhere in northern Alabama because my friend Heather from college was there with her mom to do some tornado relief work this week so I went to hang out with them for a bit before going back to Nashville.

I was too tired to drive back to Atlanta last night, so I left at 3am today. I hit traffic in GA and got home at 8:40 to drop off the dog before turning around and heading into work.

This is the first time I've ever worked on my birthday. In college I got out at least a couple days before my birthday and then didn't work till mid-May. I've had complete freedom on my birthday every year since high school. And then I didn't have a job in 2008, and my bday was on the weekend in 2009 and 2010. But I couldn't convince anyone to give me a special extra paid holiday...and I have a lot of work to do this week so here I am. Half-asleep. I have push-notification on my phone for facebook so it keeps dinging for posts and texts. Makes me feel good so I refuse to turn it to vibrate. But I still wish I was in jersey or cali right now. Oh well. I guess ya gotta grow up sometime...unfortunately.

Also, I've decided that the numbers no longer are going to go up. Until I actually look 26, I'll be 25. When I look 26, I'll be 26...though I may technically be 30 by then. But I'm also not turning 30 until I'm married. Mind over Matter people. Mind. Over. Matter.

Friday, May 6, 2011

A Lil' Somethin' I put together

Quincy after anesthesia. Make sure your sound is on. ...oh and please ignore the grammatical error...oy

video




(background music is "Furry Walls" by Russell Brand from Get Him to the Greek)

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Whoops


House Key.

(And mailbox key)

I usually have them separated from my car key and office key.

It's never been a problem.

Until today.

Since his surgery on Tuesday, I've had to go home about 1pm to give the dog a painkiller.

Not a problem.

That time of day it takes me 9-11 minutes to get home.

The problem is when you get to your front door and realize your house key is still in your workbag which is still at the office.

Also, I always say "front door" but I only have one door.

My jersey apartment had 2 doors. One was a dutch door. I had that puppy shrink-wrapped to high heaven in the winter.

Anyway, back to relevancy.

I had to drive back to work to get my keys, then back to the apartment because I couldn't not give Quincy his pill because then his mouth would bug him and he'd start fussing and then I'd end up with blood all over his room because he would've ripped his stitches.

I'm a worst case scenario person when it comes to the dog.

I fed him some rice with wet food, hid his pill in a little bit of cheese (muenster), walked him and put him back in his room, grabbed my yogurt and went back to work.

And good news, the anesthesia is pretty much out of his system now. I can probably pick up all the sheets and towels off the floor...I learned the first time what anesthesia does to him. It ain't pretty. So I cover the entire carpet with sheets and towels just in case there's no time to grab the leash and put it on him and get him outside.

And yes, I then wash all of them.

And yes, the people at the laundrymat look at me like I'm crazy.

And not just cuz I'm the only white person.

That's not racist, it's just the truth.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Greek Yumminess

Growing up I pretty much NEVER ate yogurt. Neither my mom nor I liked it, so it was never in the house.

I found within the last few years that I could manage to get down some flavored yogurts, but still wasn't a big fan.

Which is why some find it extremely odd then that I now LOVE Greek yogurt.

This is a fairly recent discovery...just in the past 6 months or so.

I generally have just bought the vat of plain, nonfat greek yogurt and added my own fresh fruit to it, but that's a little difficult to deal with on weekdays. I don't actually own any tupperware to put my mixture into to take to work and cutting up fruit every morning takes too much time.

So, I bought Chobani's individual serving size yogurts to bring to work for lunch. They are still non-fat, and low-calorie (especially considering it is plenty filling enough to serve as your entire lunch). And they have real chunks of fruit in the bottom instead of just flavoring. And, it's healthier than regular yogurt.



This is Chobani greek yogurt facts:
· All natural. No preservatives. No artificial flavors.
· Free of synthetic growth hormones. (Milk from cows not treated with rBST)
· Includes 5 live & active cultures, including 3 probiotics.
· Made with real fruit.
· Twice the protein of regular yogurts.
· A good source of bone-building calcium.
· Gluten-Free and Kosher-Certified.
· Safe for people with corn, nut and soy allergies.

By the way, the difference between Greek yogurt and American-style yogurt (like yoplait) is that Greek yogurt is strained to remove the liquid whey, hence its thicker consistency. It's in this process that there is a higher amount of protein in Greek yogurt.

Oh and a fun healthy dessert to eat with plain greek yogurt?

Cut an apple into 1/2 centimeter thick slices, throw into a mixing bowl with sugar-substitute (I prefer Truvia) and cinnamon and oats (at most 1/8 cup for 2 apples) and just enough lemon juice to help make the cinnamon/sweetener/oats stick to the apple slices. Transfer coated apples to an appropriately sized baking dish (1 apple would work in an individual creme brulee sized dish) and Bake at 350 for about 10-15ish minutes (time may be more if you're making a lot of servings). Then add a dollop of greek yogurt on top and go to town. It's AMAZING. The greek yogurt makes the combination of tastes perfect so it's like a party in your mouth. And a healthy one, too.

I also peel the apples...because I hate apple skin...just fyi.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

My Poor Baby

So, Quincy had to go in for a teeth cleaning.

He just had one a year ago.

And I brush his teeth.

But I guess he's just had bad teeth forever, cuz they just called to tell me they have to pull 3, maybe 4 of his teeth, and put special sealant on 4 others to try and prevent them from having to be removed next year.

I think he's had teeth removed before because to me it seems like there are some missing.

My poor baby is gonna be practically toothless...

I guess I'm going to have to switch to soft food...or at least a mixture of 70/30 soft/hard food.

He's gonna be in so much pain too.

And the cost...that's not pretty.

Not in the least, but I have no option.

I love him to death, but this dog keeps throwin' me for loops with his unexpected expensive emergencies...

Reshaping It All From Head to Toe and Everywhere In-Between

I've thought really hard about whether to say any of this on here. It's incredibly difficult stuff for me to admit. But for accountability's sake. I am. And for my sake. I can't do it all by myself. So I'm laying it out there. Maybe something I write will inspire someone else, just as an old friend's mother's journey has inspired me to open up and be more honest.

Here I am at the end of freshman year of college (right):


I was 19 years old.

I had the Freshman NEGATIVE 20.

I also had an eating disorder. I lost that weight within a 2 month period of time. That was the beginning.

In all honesty, I should not use this picture as a motivator.
I shouldn’t use any pictures from freshman, sophomore or junior year as a motivator.
All my ‘good’ pictures (the ones where I’m wonderfully thin) are that way because I abused my body to be that way.

Freshman year I would go to dinner with everyone and just drink a soda. Eventually they stopped commenting. I know one of them just thought I was doing it for attention. Guys can be major, egotistical idiots sometimes...

Sophomore year...well, it involves passing out at Six Flags, among other things.

Junior year of college I kept a magazine spread from Us Weekly tacked to the wall where I would see it multiple times a day, every day that was ‘stars who could gain 10 pounds’ with their boniest pictures and approximate weight. Sick, huh?

It was a control issue. I felt like I couldn’t control anything else in my life, but I could control me.

I 'got better' after junior year.

Since my senior year of college, my weight has gone up and down and back around.

My thinnest period between Sept 2006 and now, was when I was in Spain. I walked to work and back home everyday--and then to wherever I went at night. There wasn't really any public transportation worth taking. 2 miles in each direction (to work). By default, I ate incredibly healthy...although most of my calories came from Tintos de Verano and Coke Light (very different from diet coke, it's like regular, but lighter. Still some calories--and AMAZING). But all the walking totally counteracted anything I ate or drank.

But then I came back to the states. With bad, crappy food around every corner. Fast food. I kind of think fast food is like the downfall of civilization. I did manage to keep off a lot of the weight...until I started working at a desk. It's incredible how sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day can completely throw everything off. You may even eat less than before, but you still gain. I just read in the last couple weeks about how if you work at a desk all day, you HAVE to get up and walk around once every 30 minutes or you're screwed.

Then I moved to Georgia. It's been incredibly tough here, and I think my unhappiness of the past year has become visible in how I look. I've gained a lot of weight...which makes me more unhappy. But now that I'm getting involved with church, things are turning around. Slowly, but they are turning.

As I said up there a bit, I suffer from what I call Eating Disorder Syndrome--or EDNOS. My mind can become consumed with the thought of food, and as a result, I adopt mannerisms of an anorexic or bulemic, or an overeater. The thoughts are constantly there, and to some degree, they always will be at least in the back of my mind. Some days I have to fight with myself to eat, or to stop eating, or to keep the food in. I'm proud to say I have very rarely failed myself since my college years. Until a few weeks ago. When I did fail. And the immediate regret made me realize I have to fix this. I crossed a line. And I KNOW that trying to fix it by myself isn't going to work. By myself I have no will power.

I've mentioned it before, but Candace Cameron Bure's Reshaping It All tackles these types of issues in a spiritual way. (By the way, I WILL be doing GIVEAWAY of the book, maybe 2 books, very soon) After reading the book, I really came to understand that it's about a healthy lifestyle--not a diet. And that you have to address eating from a Godly perspective.

So I've begun to do just that. I've started to change my entire lifestyle. Putting God at the forefront of everything. I'm using the Weight Watchers point system at first in order to get myself better acquainted with correct portions, but I don't want to live my life counting points, so I'm trying to learn that very quickly. Since I do sit at a desk all day, I get up every morning at 5 and do a program called Insanity, which is literally insane. At work I get up every 30 minutes just to move around a little. After work, I run about 2-3 miles, 5-7 on Saturday. I don't drink calories, except for one cup of milk. If I want a cookie, I eat a cookie--but just one (oreo). YOU CAN EAT JUST ONE. I follow this bit from the book: "There is a popular term in the land of the lean called HALT- are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? If you are hungry than proceed but if you are responding to an emotion than HALT!" (p 60) I know it sounds like I'm reverting to control, but I'm really trying to strike a good balance between control and spontaneity.

I’m turning 26 in about 6 days and I’m done with constantly thinking about food and my weight. I'm done with eating to fill a void, done with binging, done with 'purging'. I’m starting my 3rd week of eating right, and 2nd week of exercising daily. And I’m happy and have more energy than I have in a LONG time. And most importantly I’m striving to lose the weight in a healthy way. EDNOS is around forever—but it only matters if I let it.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Hasta la Vista Bin Laden

This morning as I laid half-dead on the floor (thank you Insanity), I flipped on the news.

That's when I heard a news lady say "After we come back, I'll tell you why Osama Bin Laden is no longer a threat."

I thought, "huh? oh great, so now Obama is just going to pretend the guy's not a problem..."

Then the news came back and I found out that Bin Laden had actually been killed.

(sorry Barry)

I'll admit, my first thought was along the lines of a conspiracy theory of him not really being dead...

I should never have watched that Conspiracy theory documentary.

But he's dead (though the DNA results won't be out for a couple days)

It's weird.

Kinda numbing.

Now what?

He may be dead, but let's face it, this fight is far from over.

Celebration and Triumph is fine--for a bit.

But I can't help but think, the worst is yet to come.

We have to keep our wits about us.

Our security is still in just as much danger--probably more danger in the near future.

But as someone who lived 9/11 up close, as someone who's father could have died that day...I honestly have no idea how I feel.

Relieved, Numb, Thoughtful, and both Optimistic and Pessimistic.

Relieved to have some justice.

Numb to it all.

Thoughtful of the past, present and future.

Optimistic of a unified country. I saw the rallies in the streets--unity in triumph. Maybe we can hold onto that for awhile and stop with the incessant, whiney, bickering between parties. Unity to work to get this country out of debt and recession.

Pessimistic of reality. It's not over, and may never be over in my lifetime. How much longer do our troops have to be overseas?

Friday, April 29, 2011

Royal Wedding

The day I've been waiting for came!

A real-life fairytale wedding.


I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE her dress. It's very regal, elegant, and still simple.
I did not like Princess Diana's dress--it was just way too over-the-top.


I also am a HUGE fan of wearing the veil over the face. I will on my wedding day--I am debating whether or not to wear it until the kiss or lift it at the "altar".


You can't see it, but the ring is just a very small ring of welsh gold. I'm crossing my fingers that this and the simplicity in general will trigger a more modest take on weddings...You don't need a big, glitzy dress, or a giant diamond ring. You can still be glamorous and beautiful while still being simple and tasteful.


Oh, the hats. I LOVE the british tradition of wearing hats and fascinators. However, Fergie's daughters are always way ridiculous.



Just a shot of Chelsy Davy to say that if she's going to continue/restart dating Prince Harry, she has got to learn how to walk like a lady. She was walking like a farmer and that is a huge pet peeve of mine. She had to have had etiquette lessons growing up...I did and I'm not a filthy rich socialite. That book would've fallen off her head every step she took.

Speaking of Harry, here's the hottie in uniform with the groom:


And...

Awwwww

Fairytales DO come true!

:)

And yes, I am a hopeless romantic.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

I'm OK.

So last night was crazy.

Tornadoes everywhere.

The news had a running timetable for towns--You have 1 minute to seek shelter, You have 4 minutes to seek shelter, etc.

It's was scary.

Winds were topping 80mph.

Tornadoes touched down just 30 minutes away on all sides of me--N, S, E, and W.

Metro Atlanta--within the perimeter--seems to have been spared from actual tornadoes.

That includes me.

Here's some photos of the tornado destruction in the areas 30 minutes from me:






See the tornado in the 3rd picture down? Power was going out all over the place so a lot of people couldn't get the news on the tv and they only saw the tornadoes when lightning struck. It's a scary thing to see crazy lightning and then out of the corner of your eye at the same time you see this massive thing barrelling towards you (or away from you). I know the tornado that hit Tuscaloosa was a MILE wide.

That 2nd picture is actually Midtown/Buckhead. They were not hit with a tornado. But the picture is crazy.

I'm feeling very lucky and blessed this morning, but so sad for all the devastation others are facing.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

GPOYW



Arm wrestling at a Flamenco bar in Seville, Spain.

We were bored with the flamenco-ing.

And, I can beat a Welsh fairly quickly at arm-wrestling.

Just puttin' it out there.

And an Australian.

...but not the German.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Weight Loss

Not mine.

Sadly.

Well, it could be, I don't actually own a scale.

Quincy's lost 10 pounds since March 1.

I dropped him off at the vet this morning for his shots.

And they did a weigh-in.

I asked if they could make the biggest loser weigh-in sounds.

They did not oblige.

But he weighed in at 34 pounds.

And I breathed a sigh of relief.

Even though they consider that gaining a pound because they don't know that I had to take Quincy to a different vet for his rabies shot...so they have no idea that Quincy was actually 44 pounds. (18 pounds over-weight...whoopsie)

I wanted Quincy to at least lose enough to be at the weight he was at 6 months ago so I could avoid the really mean judgy lecture.

And he is. Except for 1 pound.

But 10 pounds in less than 2 months is great.

If only someone would measure my food and walk me twice a day...

But, we've got 7-8 more pounds to go.

Which reminds me, last Friday I took Quincy to the trail to walk where he wouldn't have to go up big hills (he really hates hills) and at one point I thought, "hey, I feel like jogging."

Yeah. I started to jog and Quincy's looking at me like "what in the bloody heck are you doing?! I don't jog!" And then he laid down to get me to stop and continued to look at me like I was crazy.

But he's finally starting to realize that if he puts up a fight on the walking, he gets less food.

And he can't have that.

So he walks. Yesterday he even walked in front of me for 5 seconds instead of 3-4 feet behind me. It's nice not having to walk with your arm stretched behind you.

But fatty's gonna lose the weight. The next time he goes to the vet it'll probably be the new vet. No more Banfield--as convenient as it is.

Poor Quincy hates going to petsmart at all because on one side is the kennel and the other is the vet. He doesn't care that there are treats in the middle.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Semana Santa

I got to experience Easter week (Semana Santa) when I lived in Seville (Spain).

And what an experience that was.

I didn't go to a service or anything...I don't understand Latin, nor am I Catholic (the only available denomination in Seville).

But in Spain, they bring the festivities to you...

Whether you ask for it or not.

Parades of people wearing scary creepy robes carrying massive scenes from the Bible all through the town.

Chanting and singing.

Until it's over

And all is quiet...until


You just turn a corner and BAM!



This dude is standing right in front of you.

And you let out a slight scream.

(It was dark, I'm American, these costumes symbolize a bad bad thing in America)

(And I'd been drinking...which I did a lot of over there...bottomless tintos de verano...mmm)

Anyway, so different churches have 'brotherhoods' and they wear these lovely robes and hoods...these men and boys (no women allowed) are called nazarenos.

Everyone in the group I was walking around with laughed at me and the only other American, who by the way, was also genuinely freaked out by the outfits.

The one that made me scream was towards the end of the night...er...maybe morning...I was, um, somewhat, slightly...nevermind.

Anyway, I saw them setting up for the big parade of people all through the week as I walked to work, and was excited to see bits of it.

Day of I was walking with a couple people, still very much daylight, when I see this thing scuttle around a corner.

And then I saw another one.

These things were wearing KKK costumes.

My heart stopped and I gasped. My friends (british) said "what??!"

And I said, "Did you see those (whisper) KKK (back to normal voice) outfits?"

"The What??"

"The...Oh. Nevermind..."

When we came across the other American, we both asked each other at the same time "DID YOU SEE THE KKK COSTUMES???"

Oh...stupid Americans.

We were creeped out.

The locals didn't appreciate our level of freaking out though.

We cooled it.

Until the scary one in black popped out in front of me.

And I screamed.

But these brotherhoods are identified by their colors. Only one group has all white--the others have different colored hoods and/or robes. Women dress in black and wear mantillas (I think that's what they're called) that are like tall black crowns with veils attached.

Here are some photos:




Maybe the pictures don't give you the true idea--the feeling.

Cuz, seriously, I really truly felt weird and creeped out by the robes and hoods.

That's the difference between cultures though--even between two western countries.

Oh, and FYI, you can purchase mini Nazareno figurines to play with at home:

Tinkerbell Half Marathon

At the end of January 2012, I believe the 29th, I will be running the brand-new Tinkerbell Half-Marathon at Disneyland.

I will never run a race at Disney World again (trust me, the roads are really horrible to run on), but Disneyland is flat.

Really flat.

Not that there are hills at either park, but the roads aren't slanted in Anaheim. All mucho flat. Which means no pain.

It's a women's race.

Which has made a lot of men on RunDisney mucho cranky whiners.

But it makes me happy.

Princess and Fairy Costumes are encouraged.

But I think my costume is retired.

I'm just gonna go for normal running gear.

Most importantly, running tights.

Running tights are just tight pants, not actually tights.

Ok, so maybe I'll put a sequin skirt over top of the pants.

Ok, so maybe I'm considering a Minnie Mouse look...with a red sequined, white polka-dot skirt...my old minnie mouse headcovering from when I was 2 totally still fits me. Unfortunately, the actual dress part of the costume does not. I'm not even a women's size 2, a Child's 2T is out of the question. But I'm not really going to wear the headcover thing (it literally covers my entire head heck-up except for my face)...way too much wind resistance.

Actually, I'll probably just do a single color sequined skirt...you pick the color:

Pink, Red, Green, Blue, Purple, Gold, or other suggestions welcome.

I wonder how many friends I can convince to run with me since many of them live within 30 minutes of Disneyland...

Saturday, April 16, 2011

RIP Casey

This morning I got news that I hoped I'd never get.

My friend Casey, from my Gateway family in NJ, passed away last night.

Casey was--and still is--a ginormous inspiration.

He's battled the tumors for years, but for as long as I've known him, he's had faith in God to deliver him.

His tumor came back. So he asked for prayer. He had surgery and all seemed fine.

Then it came back again. So he asked for prayer. He had surgery again. But they couldn't get it all. He asked for prayer.

The tumor(s) grew and were inoperable. Still he had faith and asked for prayer.

His ability to do the simplest things deteriorated. And still he prayed.

The more bad news he got, the harder he prayed and the greater his faith grew.

A friend told me she wasn't worried about him because when you go in his room to visit--there's no feeling of death. All you feel is life. That was just one week ago. It turned out to be a different feeling of life than we expected but life nonetheless, and Casey held onto that life till the very end.

We diligently prayed for deliverance and healing for Casey.

Now God has delivered and healed him for eternity.

I remember Casey saying that he most wanted to be healed so that he could join in with everyone jumping and dancing and singing in worship to God. His greatest desire was to praise God. And now he is up there in heaven doing just that. And he is shining bright in joyous wonder. I will hold onto that picture for the rest of my life.

I will miss you Casey. I hope you know how much you were loved. See ya on the other side friend.

RIP

Friday, April 15, 2011

APU in NYC

I didn't take pictures at my brothers wedding. I really only took a couple pictures the entire 9 days...and those were of the dogs.

But, luckily other people did.

It was a whole weekend of events...Ping Pong with Susan Sarandon on Saturday (not really--just her ping pong place in ny), A night at Earl's Beer and Cheese (most AMAZING mac & cheese ever--made with goat cheese--and the best beer I've ever had...which isn't saying much but it was actually good. Smuttynose)

Sunday was anxiety-filled. Frankly I couldn't wait for the day to be over.

But the wedding was cool. In a bookstore in Soho. We all got a book with their story, descriptions of everyone who came to the wedding, and some excerpts from books/poems.
I'll put a pic of it up at some point.

Giant cupcakes for dessert.

And I'm talking giant.

One per table and there was leftovers.

But what was the best part was all the APU alumni.

Even RA Tiffany (upstairs, Middle Court Bowles, sophomore year).

Who once wrote me up.

I reminded her of that.

She didn't remember.

But like 7 years later we all laughed about it.

Also there were Micah and Amy Wallace. (Jon's nephew and niece).

I'd never met them.

But Micah is like Zach's best friend.

So he was there.

It was fun.

And of course Jeof & Zach (duh)...and CARNIE! My room/housemate for 2 years in CA. She's the Grace to my brother's Will. So obvi, she was there. But without Gary so I still haven't met him...

Here's most of the APU people:




I'm looking forward to seeing them again when I get out to CA.

Which unfortunately I have to postpone for a couple months.

Which makes me want to cry.

But I have to do it.

At least I got out of Atlanta for a little bit--that should hold me over a little while longer.

Computer Cord Saga: The Conclusion

So my brother got home Wednesday night and on Thursday morning he called me saying the computer cord was not in the apartment.

The worst case scenario poppped in my head first - What if it fell out of a bag on the sidewalk?

But I calmly decided to double-check all my bags and the car.

(I haven't exactly unpacked anything...I've just been rifling through it all for the past few days)

As soon as I left work last night, I checked the car.

No go.

So I decided to check Quincy's backpack.

It's a spiderman backpack.

He rocks it.

Anyway, I SWEAR I looked in the bag when I first went looking for the cord on Monday.

In fact, it was unzipped.

I guess I didn't check the little front pocket though.

I mean, why would I? It's small. I didn't think the cord would fit in there.

Well, evidently I did think the cord would fit in there when I put it in there on Saturday because there it was.

In all it's black, tangled glory.

I can't believe I've been using my old college Dell when I didn't have to...

although it's certainly made me appreciate my current computer a lot more.

I'm still trying to resist taking Black Beauty in my arms and hugging him.

PS. On a completely unrelated subject, can anyone tell me how the points system is different from the new points plus system?? (weight watchers points)

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Oy

So yesterday at work I discovered that my computer cord wasn't in my computer bag. I had emptied a bunch of stuff out of it onto the couch that morning so I figured I just left it at the apartment.

Then I went home. And the cord was not on the couch or chair.

So I checked the car...maybe it fell out into the trunk.

Negative.

So I went back in and checked all the bags (there were many).

Negative.

Then I remembered that my computer bag had been full when I was packing up my stuff at my brother's apartment and set it aside until I could make room for it.

Can you guess where I'm going with this?

The cord is still at my brother's in NYC.

And he's still in England.

And I'm in Atlanta.

So now I get to use my old Dell from college this week. It's a good 6 years old.

Which is ancient in computerland.

Boy is it slow. And Small. I'm having issues with the keyboard.

And my Clear internet is not installed.

Which means no hulu or netflix until at least Saturday night.

I can't help but think, "If only I'd gone ahead and bought the macbook..." Cuz, if you lose or forget or whatever your electrical cord thing on a mac, you just pop over to the nearest Apple store and buy a new one. Any other brand and you have to have it special ordered.

My next computer will be a mac.

But Lord knows when that will be.

There are more pressing matters...like a new phone. And getting to Cali. And a treadmill. And cardio barre. And paying off my car. And a washer and dryer. Yeah...being grown-up kinda sucks. Can I go back to the days when I didn't have to pay for anything please?

Monday, April 11, 2011

3 Sheets to the Wind

That's how I felt when I pulled up to my apartment last night.

But I wasn't drunk.

At all.

I was just incredibly over-exhausted.

But I felt like I was fall-down drunk.

No joke.

My weekend was exhausting. But fun.

Saturday morning I left NYC and headed to Jersey.

I was meeting Julianne for coffee, but was early so I took Quincy for a walk at a park.

Had coffee. The barista looked exactly like a younger version of Russell Brand so I was thrilled.

Then we went over to another friend's house (her boyfriend's family).

Then I headed to Raven's. Where she gave me a manicure and tried to cut my finger off. It bled. A lot. It still hurts.

We had dinner and drinks when Jaime came home.

Try this: drop a shot of Malibu rum into a glass of lite beer. It's AMAZING.

Then Raven and I went over to Simon & Sara's apartment to see baby Tristan. Who is an absolute cutie-patootie.

Seriously.

He's so little and cute and good.

I didn't hold him though. Raven was a hog. And I didn't want him to cry. Babies tend to start crying when I hold them. It may have nothing to do with me, it's just like a hot-potato effect except instead of music stopping, the crying starts.

I didn't get to sleep till about midnight. Then I got up at 3:30am and left at 4am.

I went down via the peninsula and therefore got to cross over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge/Tunnel. It's both. Bridge, then tunnel, then bridge, then tunnel, then bridge. And it's 17.6 miles long. I remember having to cross it for the senior class trip in high school and one friend freaking out because she was petrified of bridges. And this one was 17 miles long. You can read the history here: Channel bridge/tunnel

Drove down to Virginia Beach to check out Regent University real quick and met up with Sean. I texted I was nearly there and he replied "i can put on some coffee" with other words around it. I replied "You had me at coffee"-- We've known each other for about 18 years now. Dude knows I love me some coffee. First we walked around the campus though. It's a beautiful campus. It reminds me of Williamsburg, but everything is new. So here are some pros and cons of Regent: Pros--it's beautiful, close to the beach, great contacts, it's southern but still northern enough to be okay, and, most importantly (hehe), Sean says there are quite a number of nice, strapping young men (it's a good thing he's getting married in a couple months or I'd start to wonder...), and also important, in addition to wawa, there is a coffeeshop a couple miles down the road that utilizes the pour-over method (thus serving amazing coffee).

The cons are somewhat obvious--it's a Pat Robertson school. It kinda creeps me out that his house/mansion is like smack dab in the middle of campus. And he has some serious personal security. And a painting of him hangs in the law building. The giant satellites for CBN also kinda creep me out.


The law school (left) and library (right) and fountain at Regent.


Creepy satellites to the left and then that building front and center houses the incredible theater...and a really bad wall mural/wallpaper with birds all over it.

But I may get over the creepy aspects in favor of 'strapping young men', wawa, and good coffee...and a chance to act (you know, when law school isn't weighing me down).

I then got in the car and drove another 10 hours. (I cut off an hour and a half total on the day's drive).

Friday, April 8, 2011

Strangers In The Night...



hahaha this picture cracks me up.

It's like I caught them doing something--like that picture that went around of the dog and cat canoodling on a couch a while back.

And that song plays in my mind...

"Strangers in the night, la dee da da da, strangers in the night..."

Ok, so the only part of that song I know is the first 4 words.

Today is my last full day in the city.

I hate to leave the city.

I don't hate to leave Amelia (puggle) though.

She puts the 'terrible 2's' to shame.

But then she sleeps and she's adorable.

Quincy is definitely ready to leave.

I feel like the two of them are about to come to blows.

Quincy keeps trying to take Amelia's bones.

Which does not make Amelia a happy camper.

And I just apologize to Quincy and sneak him one of his treats.

Cuz I forgot to bring his bones.

And I'm ready for new sleeping arrangements.

I sleep diagonally with one dog in each corner. But then they both get as close as possible and I can't even turn my body in any direction.

And Amelia steals all the blankets.

The first night Amelia was under the blanket, completely hidden from view, and Quincy accidentally laid on her. That was a fun moment...and the reason I started sleeping diagonally.

They both love to taunt each other in their own ways. Amelia gets in Quincy's face and follows him around like an annoying kid brother, while Quincy will lay on one of Amelia's toys or take one of her bones, or just lay by me and stare at Amelia.

Tomorrow I head to Jersey for half a day or so before heading back to Atlanta really really early via Virginia Beach (it's only an extra 2-3 hours and I want to see Regent's campus).

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Working from home

Working from home comes with one problem.

The daily 2pm "I'm so sleepy I could fall asleep on my desk" issue.

Except right now I'm working with one dog cuddled up on both sides of me, with the freaky heater making lullaby noises.

And I'm falling asleep.

And because I'm working from home where no one can see me, I could actually fall asleep.

And no one would know.

If a tree falls in a forest but no one sees/hears it, did it really happen?

No...just like I did not fall asleep for 10 minutes.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Puggles

So I'm dogsitting for my brother and Zach this week in NYC.

Quincy's here too.

He hates the city.

And Amelia.

Well, I don't think he hates Amelia, he just resents her.

Me? She's cute.

I love it when she's sleeping.

If she's not sleeping, MAJORLY high maintenance.

I think Quincy is begging to go to his nana's for the rest of the week. Which I would do if I had time to drive up to Saratoga Springs and back. Twice.

Walking them together is also interesting. They do alright though.

Although it's really not even been a whole 24 hours yet and I'm ready to go home.

Taking care of a high-energy dog that likes to play is exhausting.

On the plus side, Quincy has got to be losing weight this week. Hopefully I won't get yelled at next weekend at the vet. They like to give me judgy looks.

Friday, April 1, 2011

woot woot!

Gotta get through the work day and then I'm outta here!

Driving up to NYC tonight.

I know, I'm insane.

I drive 13 hours through the night by myself without sleeping.

It actually ends up being 14-15 with all the stops I make between 2:30am and sunrise.

I have to stop to wake up.

I was going to stop and get a hotel for 4 hours of sleep, but I just don't really have time. Or money. Hotels are expensive. And I can't stay in dumps. Plus I'll have the dog with me.

But it's ok. I do stop when I get tired. And I'll be drinking a lot of caffeine.

And I have a trick. I suck on blow pops. That helps keep me awake.

No joke.

So about 8 or 9am tomorrow I should be getting into the city...and then finding a parking spot on the street cuz I'm not really okay with paying upwards of $30/day to park my car in a garage lot.

Then I have to lug my crap. I would have less stuff if New York would cooperate and not be cold in April. But it's not going to cooperate so I have to bring my coats. And my professional business clothes. And all my other clothes. And shoes. I am going to be there for 8 days. Still don't have an umbrella though...really need to get one. And the dog. I'll have him and his stuff (food, blanket, bear)...I'll probably just find the parking spot, take the dog to my brother's apartment and drag him, zach and carnie back to the car to help me unload.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Brain's shot

So I was under the impression (based on conversations with the CFO in the past 2 weeks) that there was a Board of Directors meeting this week. Here. In Atlanta.

I also thought that the big 3 (CEO, CFO and President) would be having a pre-meeting here today.

Well, I have no idea what's going on.

Other than the big 3 are meeting today but it Philly not Atlanta.

And no, Jersey dears, there is not actually an office in Philly so there is no option to move back to the area. The CFO lives in Philly. CEO (dad) lives in Jersey. President lives in Houston. The meetings are in a different location every month. It's like the friggin' CIA up in here. Except less cool. By far.

Honestly, if my job was located in CA or NY or Boston I would love my job. It's being stuck in Atlanta that sucks.

I know, I should probably try a little harder to like Atlanta. Knowing people my own age would probably help...

Anyway, so back to my confusion.

Because I thought everyone was going to be here, I made brownies.

I like to make brownies, eat the residue batter in the bowl, and then let everyone else eat the baked brownies.

And I mean just baked...not that they are 'special' brownies that are 'baked'. I don't have a medical marijuana license here.

But no one came.

There's only two people in the office that will eat the brownies.

The brownies are sad.

I can hear them crying in sad dejection all the way down the hallway.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

A picture and a (bad) haiku



Bro found this picture/
He thought of me and sent it/
I have to agree.

Favorite Cousin Strikes Again

FC (Favorite Cousin) announced her admittance into the Florida Film Festival yesterday. I'm not sure how it works, but at this rate, she'll be admitted to Sundance.

Since it's Florida, I thought, 'hey I may actually get to go!' And then I saw the date and its the day I'm supposed to be driving back to Atlanta from NY. There's no way I would make it down to Winter Haven by 7pm.

But I really want to. Mostly because of FC, but also because all the directors will be there. Including the director of the film shown right before FC's.



Rachel Weisz. The actress. The girlfriend of James Bond. Will James Bond be there (Daniel Craig)? Cuz then I would drive at the speed of light.

How awesome would it be for FC to beat out Rachel Weisz?

I just hope that RW doesn't win just because she's RW.

Because FC's film is really awesome. I have only seen stills, but I read the screenplay before she filmed it.

Here's a link to the festival if you are in Florida:

2011 Florida Film Festival

Monday, March 28, 2011

Monday Monday

Oh Monday. You came way too soon.

Saturday I went to get heels that are comfortable to walk around nyc in since I'm going to have to schlep around in professional business attire and I don't think my sequin ballet flats are gonna cut it with a suit.

I specifically wanted the Ivanka Trump black heels because I'd heard they were amazingly comfortable--much like their louboutin counterparts (simple 100).

Neither Macy's nor Nordstrom had them, so I ended up getting Gianni Bini's. They're cute, half the price of the trumps, and comfortable enough. I mean, I will be taking the subway...I'm not walking 80 blocks.

I also got my haircut on Saturday. I went to a nice place because I got a living social coupon for a $30 haircut and scalp/neck massage (instead of $70). I also got to lock in the $30 price for the next 2 trips if I booked while there. I went ahead and did it. $30 for a haircut is amazing. Except I have 2 problems:

1. I SAID NO BANGS. And yet, there are insanely annoying bangs draping across my forehead. They look good, but so freaking annoying.

2. I presented a picture because last time I told someone 'long layers' I swear there were close to NO layers. I thought a picture of EXACTLY what I wanted would help. Not so much. There are layers but they are too long. I can't curl them all pretty-like (like I did senior year of college). There's no movement because the layers are too long. No texturing to be done. AND THERE ARE BANGS ON MY FOREHEAD. There were NO bangs in the picture. None. It was a shorter layer, not bangs. At least the bangs aren't too short and it won't take too long for them to grow out more. I'm still going to the bookings I made...just make sure I say "no bangs" louder and more forcefully. And say "more layers" -- I say long layers because once I didn't and ended up with a shag that was not pretty. Gilbert knew exactly what I meant by long layers. He knew exactly how to cut my hair...I miss Gilbert. But I can't fly to LA just to get my hair cut...As much as I want to.

Nerd Alert: yesterday I did laundry and then watched a BBC documentary about the British Monarchy. It started with the fall of the roman empire and ended with Charles II. I hope there's another disc being made, because there's good stuff to be seen after Charles II. I'm a bit obsessed with monarchy. And this wedding coming up? I'm all over it. I seriously contemplated going to London during the wedding festivities. But the lack of money to get there put a stop to that idea.

It stormed ALL weekend. Saturday, Sunday, and now today. It really picked up at night. I've never heard thunder so loud in my entire life. The dog is absolutely petrified of thunder. He took to laying as close as possible to me and crying. Then about 4am today the loudest thunder boom happened and he decided that as close as possible wasn't close enough. Dude hijacked my pillow...he came in from above my head and plopped down taking over 3/4 of the pillow. By the way, dog needs an altoid. Or 10. Needless to say, I barely got any sleep this weekend. And it's going to be an insane week. It wouldn't be if I could just do this crap myself. I hate having to work with people (on projects). Just give me the stuff and let me do it. Especially when I'm the one who's being asked for the stuff but don't have it because it was actually tasked to the other person...who hasn't sent me anything.


Oh, and the photo challenge thing? Totally bored with it. It's hereby cancelled.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Dance Dance Revolution?



Dude's awesome.

Not Springy in NYC

So, next Friday I'll be driving home (the Northeast, tri-state area, NYC).

I am SO FREAKING EXCITED.

I can't wait to be back in the city with New Yorkers who don't smile or talk to you unless you're in their way.

I miss the rude NY state of mind.

This whole Southern charm shtick gets pretty old, pretty quickly.

I grew up there. You could probably describe me as Jake in Sweet Home Alabama says, as a "hoity-toity yankee bitch"

... except I'm not hoity-toity.

Hoity-toity.

hehe I like that.

Sorry.

Back to the purpose of this rant.

I'm going to be in the great and wonderful NYC for the whole week.


See the big lake farther back? The Jackie O Reservoir in the Upper East Side? Well go to the right (and towards the front of the picture) a couple blocks and that's where I'll be staying. At the brother's place.

My brother's wedding is April 3 at a bookstore in Soho, and then I'm apartment/dog sitting for the week.

It's not all fun and games though.

I have to work. In fact, I have to physically go into an office and work a couple of the days.

There's no getting away with not working these days. Not possible. So annoying.

But I can't wait to hang out and do my work in my favorite coffeeshop in the village and then go browsing around at Strand (my favorite bookstore).

And of course, most importantly, being able to see my friends in a longer span of time than usual.

Usually I am up for 2 days max and have to squish everyone into that time frame and end up not seeing everyone.

Not this time. This time everyone gets QTWJ (Quality Time With Jaxie).

The only problem?

It's FREEZING up there now.

Like, it SNOWED a LOT just in the past couple days.

What is with that?

I wanted springtime in NY. Not extended winter in NY.

It should be completely snow-less the week I'm there though.

Thank Goodness. I don't do snow anymore...unless it's in the mountains and I'm skiing on it.

Swooshing side to side pretending I'm in the Olympics.

What was I saying?

Oh yeah, cold.

And I can't wait to see how big of a pain Quincy is going to be on the sidewalks of NY...he freaks out when one person is walking nearby him (other than me). And I have to walk him and Amelia at the same time.

2 bigger opposites you will never find.

But I'm still excited!

Coldness and crazy dogs included.

Well, not the coldness, the cold can go away.

ASAP.

My sleeveless dress for the wedding would really appreciate it.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Photo Challenge Day 16: Photo of a place you want to travel to

I love traveling. I dream of traveling all over the world. There are SO many places I want to go...so this is a doozy of a post.

Place Numero Uno...or I guess Place Numero Un (pronounce as a nasaly euh):

FRANCE.



For pictures, go back to a September post of Travel Thursday: CLICK HERE

Other places:

AUSTRALIA


GREECE


IRELAND.


TALL SHIP CRUISE IN WESTERN CARIBBEAN.


THAILAND.

AND MANY MORE...but that's it for pictures...
You can pretty much just assume that I want to travel everywhere...except the Middle East...

Bangs or No Bangs?



I'm getting my hair cut on Saturday.

It's long overdue.

I'm just going with my usual layered look, but am trying to decide whether to do bangs or not.

What do you think?

And, you can go ahead and throw your 2 cents in about the blonde or brown as well...

I love my hair blonde, but it's an expensive option.

If I go brown, I can grow out the color a lot easier. Lighter roots are much less noticable than dark roots.

Right now my hair is a dark blonde...and brassy.

So brassy.

It ain't pretty.

But Saturday I'm JUST getting the haircut, not color so I can see what happens to the color it is now when a lot of the ends are cut off.

I'm leaning towards brown though.

Or blonde.

Cannot decide.

So here's your job:

Bangs or No Bangs?

Brown or Blonde?

They all look good on me.

It's a curse.

;)

Photo Challenge Day 15: Photo of you and someone you love

Just look over to the right.

Me and my baby boy Quincy.

What? It's me, and someone I love.

Well, somedog I love.

I'm well aware I need a life.

That blog post is coming up sometime today.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

RIP Elizabeth Taylor



I'm sure all are aware by now, but Elizabeth Taylor has passed away.

She was one of the greatest actresses of all time.

Her talent and work was an inspiration to me.

You can't watch Cat on a Hot Tin Roof or Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf and not think she's amazing.

The Broadway production of Beauty and the Beast may have jump-started the acting bug in me, but it was a few years later that I saw Elizabeth Taylor onscreen and it was then that the passion for acting grew. Her work made me want to work harder and be better.

Wanting to be an actress was never, and will never (as the dream will never fade), be about the fame or money to me. It's about the work. Getting to transform into a character, bringing words on a page to life, touching the lives of people--it's about passion. The love of the art. To me Elizabeth Taylor embodied that. And when she had the fame, she used it to make a difference in the world. She brought the world's attention to AIDS and founded amFAR and The Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation. These foundations have in turn changed and helped the lives of hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of people.

She was and always will be an inspiration to many. Let's just hope that people finally get past the number of husbands she had or the personal problems, and just focus on her work as an actress and as a humanitarian.

And if you've never seen one of her films, I suggest you head over to Netflix and get to watching. And donate to her foundations.

Photo Challenge Day 14: Photo of Your Favorite Family Member

One of my favorites, of course.

Don't want to ruffle any feathers here.

This is kind of a running theme...

My favorite cousin being Michelle.

She's my LA cousin.

And she's not just my favorite because she let me walk through a couple frames of one of her movies, or because she sends me Coffee Bean in a box with a gazillion stamps on it, or because I'm free to come stay with her in LA anytime (when she's there)...

Michelle is inspiring.

At least she is to me.

She's fearless.

She may disagree, but the mere fact that she goes surfing in the shark-infested ocean makes her fearless in my eyes.

She's gone after what she wants from Day 1.

Never giving up.

A short film she produced won at Sundance.

In the past couple weeks, she just won Best Short at San Luis Obispo International Film Festival for a short film she directed.

Her talent for directing just keeps getting better and better and one day she'll be holding an Oscar. I have no doubt about that.

And then she will let me hold it.

And I will run away with it.

But anyway, here's Michelle in action directing The Interview (film she just won for):

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Day 13 : Photo of your Best Friends

I personally don't like the phrase/term "Best Friend."

I certainly don't want to, and really, I can't, pick one or two as "best."

So here are just some pics of a few of the good friends I've had in the last few years.









Monday, March 21, 2011

Oh, hey Alabama...

Do you ever wake up and think, "That's it! I need coffee. Good coffee. I need coffee bean! I can't take it anymore!"

And then get dressed and jump in the car to go get said Coffee Bean coffee?

...a 2 1/2 hour drive away?

In Alabama.

Alabama is scary.

People talk funny.

Worse than the Georgians outside the city areas.

But they have Coffee Bean.

One lonely Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf sits in the middle of nowhere in Alabama.

It's a southern California coffee place with just a couple shops randomly in a couple places outside socal.

One being Alabama, another the Detroit airport McNamara baggage claim.

I'm addicted to Coffee Bean.

CLEARLY.

And no inflated gas prices are going to stop me.

I made the most out of it though.

The CBTL is in a brand new outdoor outlet mall.

I visited Banana Republic and Carters. (me and baby stores are a bad combo btw...)

And, gas in Bama was a good 10 cents cheaper than where I get gas in Georgia.

By the way, I feel for you Cali people...I freak out if I have to pay 3.50/gallon and y'all think that's cheap!

Anyway, so when I first got to the mall (in Leeds, AL), I headed straight for the Coffee Bean.

I technically didn't have a clue where it was but my heart led the way.

And 30 seconds later, I was standing in front of the pearly gates.

A couple minutes later, I was holding a large cup of Vanilla Latte.

The best Vanilla latte in the history of mankind is what Coffee Bean should call it.

I drank it while shopping around.

Then when I decided it was time to leave to drive back to Atlanta to the dog, I went back to Coffee Bean.

And got a to-go order.



One hot vanilla latte, and one iced vanilla latte...and also the vanilla powder canister and a bag of Creme Brulee flavored coffee (I wasn't quite willing to pay the $50 price for the 1 pound bag of Kona as amazing as it is).

When I explained my crazy behavior, the manager gave me the iced one for free.

Crazy pays off people.

Crazy. Pays. Off.

Photo Challenge Day 12: Photo of person you'd like to switch places with for a day.

Or for a lifetime...


(Vanessa Paradis)

Aside from the fact that she's that skinny after 2 kids, she's beautiful, and a successful actress and singer (in France), she's (common law) married to Johnny Depp.

Girl hit the freakin' jackpot.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Photo Challenge Day 10: Photo of you as a baby

I hope you are prepared for the overload of serious adorableness.



I know, right?

I'm insanely cute.

It should be illegal to be as cute as me.

hahaha

I'm super humble too.