Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Attacks on the Rise

MSNBC had a story today about how shark attacks are up 25% globally. That's because sharks are evil and deserve to die. All of them...and don't give me that "some kinds are harmless" crap. They all eat people if given the chance.

Upon reading the article (slightly hyperventilating at the pictures), I discovered that there were FIVE shark attacks in the Red Sea in 2010. I was not aware there were sharks in the Red Sea. I always have wanted to go and float on the water. I now cannot ever go floating on the Red Sea because if I do a shark will come up from below and eat me. UPDATE: I have since discovered that the Red Sea and the Dead Sea are not the same. I have always wanted to float on the Dead Sea, not the Red Sea. But I still will not be going in the Red Sea.

I know my fear seems irrational and slightly cray-cray to some. I've actually gotten better. I will go in the water up to a certain depth and can see my feet because the water is crystal clear. And I can handle stuffed sharks and cartoon sharks. Well, actually I still have issues with the sharks from Finding Nemo...but I don't totally freak out anymore. I remember in college my friends made me go see A Shark's Tale (the cartoon movie) and I sat with my knees up to my chin and my eyes were shut for most of it. There was the time my friends thought it'd be hilarious to stick a plastic shark in my toilet once too. Then when I worked for the preschool, little Justin came up to me (not knowing his adult teacher was petrified of sharks) and unzipped his hoodie while yelling "rawrrrr" to show me his mean shark tshirt. They say if you're a teacher, you shouldn't show fear...well I failed...and they all caught on.

I've had the fear for as long as I can remember. The very last time I was ever in the ocean (voluntarily) was in middle school on a youth retreat to Assateaque Island (you know, where all the horses roam free). Kristina (who was afraid of whales) and I were out in the water treading when all of a sudden something grabbed our legs from underneath and we screamed bloody murder. It wasn't a whale or a shark, just her dad but I never went in the ocean again. (You can tell your dad that too lol) Well, I never voluntarily went in the ocean again. Freshman year of college, Brian, Adam, Kyle and Chris chased me full-speed down Huntington beach before catching me and carrying me kicking and screaming into the water (now there really can be a LOT of sharks in the OC, just fyi) and as I was flying through the air I was screaming (bloody murder again) and then I freaked out and flailed as fast as I could to get out of the water. While I trust Brian and Adam with my life (they've definitely earned it, believe me), that trust ends if we are on the beach.

That's all.


  1. Ohhhh jaxieeeeeee. Where do we even start with you. You crazy!

    Not that I don't know anything about irrational fears or anything #homeinvasion #dentalanxiety

  2. Oh my gosh I'm DYINGGGG!! So funny. Jac, I ALMOST went whale watching in Mexico last week to try to "overcome" my fears but I chickened out last minute. I'm sorry that my dad has scarred us both for life!