Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Possessed Elevators

So, there are 3 sets of elevators in my office building. I've actually used all 6 (2 elevators in each set) and it's only the elevators in my wing of the building that are possessed.

I'm totally serious. They are. First of all, I don't even have to hit the button for the elevator to open. It opens just as I'm walking to it.

Secondly, it hates the 3rd floor. Which happens to be my floor. It speeds up as it nears the 3rd floor and goes right on past, SLAMMING into the 4th floor. But it won't open on the 4th floor. So I quickly hit the 3 button again and then it slams down to the second floor, doesn't open and then continues slowly down to the 1st floor where I get to rinse and repeat.

I half expect to see these guys when the door opens on the 1st floor:

So then, after seeing those guys, the elevator slams me into the 4th floor again except this time it then goes up to 5. Which is when I start thinking, this is going to be me in 1.1 seconds:

(The one of the left who looks legit frightened, not the two who are kinda laughing and screaming)

But it's not. I don't go plummeting full speed to my death. I hit the 4 button and the 3 button at 5 and it takes me nicely down to 4 at which point I decide to get out of the possessed death trap and take the stairs down to 3.

...I should probably admit that the elevator usually only does this when there is one other person on the elevator and they've gotten off at 2. I inwardly groan when I get on the elevator and see that the other person has pushed 2 because it would be rude to immediately leap out of the elevator at that point but I know I'm going to go on a terror-filled ride. If only I could just learn to push 4 instead of 3 when someone on the elevator pushes 2. Or I could take the stairs...but while I can run and run and run, 2 flights of stairs up to the 3rd floor completely takes the wind out of me. Probably because I forget to breathe when I climb stairs.

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