Sunday, May 15, 2011

Being Jaxie Has Moved

Hello All,

This blog has grown up and become it's own website, so please go to:


Make sure you change/add it to your blogrolls, rss feeds, readers, etc.

Check it out!


Thursday, May 12, 2011

Heather Visits the Deep South

So, I think I mentioned on Monday that I drove down to Alabama from Nashville on Sunday to see one of my best friends. I got lost. I was actually only a mile from the church 15 minutes early when I thought my phone was telling me I was going in the wrong direction so I turned around and went 20 minutes in the wrong direction. I figured this out when I was on a tiny back country road and saw a sign that said "Tennessee State Line" -- I somehow found my way to the church. 15 minutes late. Anyway...

Heather is a total city girl. Born and raised in Costa Mesa, CA (Newport Beach).

While she's briefly been to northern California country (Fall River Mills) which from pictures and stories I've seen and heard was something I regret missing, she'd never been somewhere quite like the Deep South.

It's a whole other world, that Deep South.

Sweet Home Alabama (movie) does a pretty good job of portraying the deep south. Except that was kind of a big town in the movie.

Anyway, I got to the church and we sat through the baby dedication. The pastor prayed after EVERY SINGLE BABY. There were like 10 babies. Then he prayed an extra time for them all collectively. Barbie (Heather's mom) sent us outside. And I'm pretty sure she wished she'd come with us...that was one heck of a long service.

Anyway, I was only able to hang around for a few hours.

Which was enough to get crazy quotes a la Heather (all while driving around).

1. Heather: "Oh a tire swing!! (drive closer) ... That's a pathetic tire swing."
Me: "That's not a tire swing. That's just a tire hung on a gate to weigh it down."

2. Heather: "We have to drive to get food. Like get on the road and drive. forever. to get to anything."
Me: "Yep. Welcome to the middle of nowhere."
Heather: "...How do people live like this?!"
Me: "They cook."
Heather: "oh my god that's horrible!"

3. Heather: (after seeing some roadkill) "Did you see that? What was that? Was that an armadillo or a fox?!"
Me: " do know those are completely different things, right?"
Heather: "..."
Me: "was it ugly, grey, and hard looking, or soft, bushy-tailed and cute?"
Heather: "ummm..."
Me: "foxes get hit and just kinda go thump-thump. Armadillos kinda pop and explode"
Heather: "you would know that"

4. Heather: "ooooooooohhhhh!!!!"
Me: "What?!"
Heather: "a porch!!! and a swing!!!"
Me: omg...hahahahahahaa
Heather: "that's my dream! I want a porch with a porch swing! They're EVERYWHERE HERE!"

She's gonna kill me. hahaha

Fashion Rules

Lady Gaga said sometime in the last couple days that there are no rules in fashion.

I very much disagree.

For example:


Please put them on.

You look ridiculous.

In my opinion, what Lady Gaga wears 24/7 are costumes, not fashion.

Just once, I would love for her to wear simple makeup and hair, and a dress from Ralph Lauren's or Calvin Klein's couture lines...and a simple peep-toe Louboutin heel.

Just once.


Really, she loves being a 'shockjock' so much, nothing would be more shocking than simple.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Oh my Oh my

I am officially closer to 30 than 20.


But anyway, yesterday was Mother's Day and today is my birthday.

My mom was only a year older than I am when she had me.

No pressure.

But Mother's Day and my birthday have always been in the same week--and sometimes on the same day (like last year).

So a small collection of photos for mothers day/my birthday:

Don't you love my bonnet?

Exactly 25 years ago at my 1st bday. The cake ended up all over me and that pretty dress.

Halloween not bday, but I'm so freaking cute in my minnie mouse costume I had to add it.

4th birthday. Do I know how to feed a baby or what?

high school graduation. My makeup is horrible in this picture.

I went to Nashville this past weekend. Aunt and Uncle took me to a dinner theater that was fun. Sunday I went to the middle of nowhere in northern Alabama because my friend Heather from college was there with her mom to do some tornado relief work this week so I went to hang out with them for a bit before going back to Nashville.

I was too tired to drive back to Atlanta last night, so I left at 3am today. I hit traffic in GA and got home at 8:40 to drop off the dog before turning around and heading into work.

This is the first time I've ever worked on my birthday. In college I got out at least a couple days before my birthday and then didn't work till mid-May. I've had complete freedom on my birthday every year since high school. And then I didn't have a job in 2008, and my bday was on the weekend in 2009 and 2010. But I couldn't convince anyone to give me a special extra paid holiday...and I have a lot of work to do this week so here I am. Half-asleep. I have push-notification on my phone for facebook so it keeps dinging for posts and texts. Makes me feel good so I refuse to turn it to vibrate. But I still wish I was in jersey or cali right now. Oh well. I guess ya gotta grow up sometime...unfortunately.

Also, I've decided that the numbers no longer are going to go up. Until I actually look 26, I'll be 25. When I look 26, I'll be 26...though I may technically be 30 by then. But I'm also not turning 30 until I'm married. Mind over Matter people. Mind. Over. Matter.

Friday, May 6, 2011

A Lil' Somethin' I put together

Quincy after anesthesia. Make sure your sound is on. ...oh and please ignore the grammatical error...oy

(background music is "Furry Walls" by Russell Brand from Get Him to the Greek)

Thursday, May 5, 2011


House Key.

(And mailbox key)

I usually have them separated from my car key and office key.

It's never been a problem.

Until today.

Since his surgery on Tuesday, I've had to go home about 1pm to give the dog a painkiller.

Not a problem.

That time of day it takes me 9-11 minutes to get home.

The problem is when you get to your front door and realize your house key is still in your workbag which is still at the office.

Also, I always say "front door" but I only have one door.

My jersey apartment had 2 doors. One was a dutch door. I had that puppy shrink-wrapped to high heaven in the winter.

Anyway, back to relevancy.

I had to drive back to work to get my keys, then back to the apartment because I couldn't not give Quincy his pill because then his mouth would bug him and he'd start fussing and then I'd end up with blood all over his room because he would've ripped his stitches.

I'm a worst case scenario person when it comes to the dog.

I fed him some rice with wet food, hid his pill in a little bit of cheese (muenster), walked him and put him back in his room, grabbed my yogurt and went back to work.

And good news, the anesthesia is pretty much out of his system now. I can probably pick up all the sheets and towels off the floor...I learned the first time what anesthesia does to him. It ain't pretty. So I cover the entire carpet with sheets and towels just in case there's no time to grab the leash and put it on him and get him outside.

And yes, I then wash all of them.

And yes, the people at the laundrymat look at me like I'm crazy.

And not just cuz I'm the only white person.

That's not racist, it's just the truth.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Greek Yumminess

Growing up I pretty much NEVER ate yogurt. Neither my mom nor I liked it, so it was never in the house.

I found within the last few years that I could manage to get down some flavored yogurts, but still wasn't a big fan.

Which is why some find it extremely odd then that I now LOVE Greek yogurt.

This is a fairly recent discovery...just in the past 6 months or so.

I generally have just bought the vat of plain, nonfat greek yogurt and added my own fresh fruit to it, but that's a little difficult to deal with on weekdays. I don't actually own any tupperware to put my mixture into to take to work and cutting up fruit every morning takes too much time.

So, I bought Chobani's individual serving size yogurts to bring to work for lunch. They are still non-fat, and low-calorie (especially considering it is plenty filling enough to serve as your entire lunch). And they have real chunks of fruit in the bottom instead of just flavoring. And, it's healthier than regular yogurt.

This is Chobani greek yogurt facts:
· All natural. No preservatives. No artificial flavors.
· Free of synthetic growth hormones. (Milk from cows not treated with rBST)
· Includes 5 live & active cultures, including 3 probiotics.
· Made with real fruit.
· Twice the protein of regular yogurts.
· A good source of bone-building calcium.
· Gluten-Free and Kosher-Certified.
· Safe for people with corn, nut and soy allergies.

By the way, the difference between Greek yogurt and American-style yogurt (like yoplait) is that Greek yogurt is strained to remove the liquid whey, hence its thicker consistency. It's in this process that there is a higher amount of protein in Greek yogurt.

Oh and a fun healthy dessert to eat with plain greek yogurt?

Cut an apple into 1/2 centimeter thick slices, throw into a mixing bowl with sugar-substitute (I prefer Truvia) and cinnamon and oats (at most 1/8 cup for 2 apples) and just enough lemon juice to help make the cinnamon/sweetener/oats stick to the apple slices. Transfer coated apples to an appropriately sized baking dish (1 apple would work in an individual creme brulee sized dish) and Bake at 350 for about 10-15ish minutes (time may be more if you're making a lot of servings). Then add a dollop of greek yogurt on top and go to town. It's AMAZING. The greek yogurt makes the combination of tastes perfect so it's like a party in your mouth. And a healthy one, too.

I also peel the apples...because I hate apple skin...just fyi.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

My Poor Baby

So, Quincy had to go in for a teeth cleaning.

He just had one a year ago.

And I brush his teeth.

But I guess he's just had bad teeth forever, cuz they just called to tell me they have to pull 3, maybe 4 of his teeth, and put special sealant on 4 others to try and prevent them from having to be removed next year.

I think he's had teeth removed before because to me it seems like there are some missing.

My poor baby is gonna be practically toothless...

I guess I'm going to have to switch to soft food...or at least a mixture of 70/30 soft/hard food.

He's gonna be in so much pain too.

And the cost...that's not pretty.

Not in the least, but I have no option.

I love him to death, but this dog keeps throwin' me for loops with his unexpected expensive emergencies...

Reshaping It All From Head to Toe and Everywhere In-Between

I've thought really hard about whether to say any of this on here. It's incredibly difficult stuff for me to admit. But for accountability's sake. I am. And for my sake. I can't do it all by myself. So I'm laying it out there. Maybe something I write will inspire someone else, just as an old friend's mother's journey has inspired me to open up and be more honest.

Here I am at the end of freshman year of college (right):

I was 19 years old.

I had the Freshman NEGATIVE 20.

I also had an eating disorder. I lost that weight within a 2 month period of time. That was the beginning.

In all honesty, I should not use this picture as a motivator.
I shouldn’t use any pictures from freshman, sophomore or junior year as a motivator.
All my ‘good’ pictures (the ones where I’m wonderfully thin) are that way because I abused my body to be that way.

Freshman year I would go to dinner with everyone and just drink a soda. Eventually they stopped commenting. I know one of them just thought I was doing it for attention. Guys can be major, egotistical idiots sometimes...

Sophomore year...well, it involves passing out at Six Flags, among other things.

Junior year of college I kept a magazine spread from Us Weekly tacked to the wall where I would see it multiple times a day, every day that was ‘stars who could gain 10 pounds’ with their boniest pictures and approximate weight. Sick, huh?

It was a control issue. I felt like I couldn’t control anything else in my life, but I could control me.

I 'got better' after junior year.

Since my senior year of college, my weight has gone up and down and back around.

My thinnest period between Sept 2006 and now, was when I was in Spain. I walked to work and back home everyday--and then to wherever I went at night. There wasn't really any public transportation worth taking. 2 miles in each direction (to work). By default, I ate incredibly healthy...although most of my calories came from Tintos de Verano and Coke Light (very different from diet coke, it's like regular, but lighter. Still some calories--and AMAZING). But all the walking totally counteracted anything I ate or drank.

But then I came back to the states. With bad, crappy food around every corner. Fast food. I kind of think fast food is like the downfall of civilization. I did manage to keep off a lot of the weight...until I started working at a desk. It's incredible how sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day can completely throw everything off. You may even eat less than before, but you still gain. I just read in the last couple weeks about how if you work at a desk all day, you HAVE to get up and walk around once every 30 minutes or you're screwed.

Then I moved to Georgia. It's been incredibly tough here, and I think my unhappiness of the past year has become visible in how I look. I've gained a lot of weight...which makes me more unhappy. But now that I'm getting involved with church, things are turning around. Slowly, but they are turning.

As I said up there a bit, I suffer from what I call Eating Disorder Syndrome--or EDNOS. My mind can become consumed with the thought of food, and as a result, I adopt mannerisms of an anorexic or bulemic, or an overeater. The thoughts are constantly there, and to some degree, they always will be at least in the back of my mind. Some days I have to fight with myself to eat, or to stop eating, or to keep the food in. I'm proud to say I have very rarely failed myself since my college years. Until a few weeks ago. When I did fail. And the immediate regret made me realize I have to fix this. I crossed a line. And I KNOW that trying to fix it by myself isn't going to work. By myself I have no will power.

I've mentioned it before, but Candace Cameron Bure's Reshaping It All tackles these types of issues in a spiritual way. (By the way, I WILL be doing GIVEAWAY of the book, maybe 2 books, very soon) After reading the book, I really came to understand that it's about a healthy lifestyle--not a diet. And that you have to address eating from a Godly perspective.

So I've begun to do just that. I've started to change my entire lifestyle. Putting God at the forefront of everything. I'm using the Weight Watchers point system at first in order to get myself better acquainted with correct portions, but I don't want to live my life counting points, so I'm trying to learn that very quickly. Since I do sit at a desk all day, I get up every morning at 5 and do a program called Insanity, which is literally insane. At work I get up every 30 minutes just to move around a little. After work, I run about 2-3 miles, 5-7 on Saturday. I don't drink calories, except for one cup of milk. If I want a cookie, I eat a cookie--but just one (oreo). YOU CAN EAT JUST ONE. I follow this bit from the book: "There is a popular term in the land of the lean called HALT- are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? If you are hungry than proceed but if you are responding to an emotion than HALT!" (p 60) I know it sounds like I'm reverting to control, but I'm really trying to strike a good balance between control and spontaneity.

I’m turning 26 in about 6 days and I’m done with constantly thinking about food and my weight. I'm done with eating to fill a void, done with binging, done with 'purging'. I’m starting my 3rd week of eating right, and 2nd week of exercising daily. And I’m happy and have more energy than I have in a LONG time. And most importantly I’m striving to lose the weight in a healthy way. EDNOS is around forever—but it only matters if I let it.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Hasta la Vista Bin Laden

This morning as I laid half-dead on the floor (thank you Insanity), I flipped on the news.

That's when I heard a news lady say "After we come back, I'll tell you why Osama Bin Laden is no longer a threat."

I thought, "huh? oh great, so now Obama is just going to pretend the guy's not a problem..."

Then the news came back and I found out that Bin Laden had actually been killed.

(sorry Barry)

I'll admit, my first thought was along the lines of a conspiracy theory of him not really being dead...

I should never have watched that Conspiracy theory documentary.

But he's dead (though the DNA results won't be out for a couple days)

It's weird.

Kinda numbing.

Now what?

He may be dead, but let's face it, this fight is far from over.

Celebration and Triumph is fine--for a bit.

But I can't help but think, the worst is yet to come.

We have to keep our wits about us.

Our security is still in just as much danger--probably more danger in the near future.

But as someone who lived 9/11 up close, as someone who's father could have died that day...I honestly have no idea how I feel.

Relieved, Numb, Thoughtful, and both Optimistic and Pessimistic.

Relieved to have some justice.

Numb to it all.

Thoughtful of the past, present and future.

Optimistic of a unified country. I saw the rallies in the streets--unity in triumph. Maybe we can hold onto that for awhile and stop with the incessant, whiney, bickering between parties. Unity to work to get this country out of debt and recession.

Pessimistic of reality. It's not over, and may never be over in my lifetime. How much longer do our troops have to be overseas?