Thursday, May 12, 2011

Heather Visits the Deep South

So, I think I mentioned on Monday that I drove down to Alabama from Nashville on Sunday to see one of my best friends. I got lost. I was actually only a mile from the church 15 minutes early when I thought my phone was telling me I was going in the wrong direction so I turned around and went 20 minutes in the wrong direction. I figured this out when I was on a tiny back country road and saw a sign that said "Tennessee State Line" -- I somehow found my way to the church. 15 minutes late. Anyway...

Heather is a total city girl. Born and raised in Costa Mesa, CA (Newport Beach).

While she's briefly been to northern California country (Fall River Mills) which from pictures and stories I've seen and heard was something I regret missing, she'd never been somewhere quite like the Deep South.

It's a whole other world, that Deep South.

Sweet Home Alabama (movie) does a pretty good job of portraying the deep south. Except that was kind of a big town in the movie.

Anyway, I got to the church and we sat through the baby dedication. The pastor prayed after EVERY SINGLE BABY. There were like 10 babies. Then he prayed an extra time for them all collectively. Barbie (Heather's mom) sent us outside. And I'm pretty sure she wished she'd come with us...that was one heck of a long service.

Anyway, I was only able to hang around for a few hours.

Which was enough to get crazy quotes a la Heather (all while driving around).

1. Heather: "Oh a tire swing!! (drive closer) ... That's a pathetic tire swing."
Me: "That's not a tire swing. That's just a tire hung on a gate to weigh it down."

2. Heather: "We have to drive to get food. Like get on the road and drive. forever. to get to anything."
Me: "Yep. Welcome to the middle of nowhere."
Heather: "...How do people live like this?!"
Me: "They cook."
Heather: "oh my god that's horrible!"

3. Heather: (after seeing some roadkill) "Did you see that? What was that? Was that an armadillo or a fox?!"
Me: " do know those are completely different things, right?"
Heather: "..."
Me: "was it ugly, grey, and hard looking, or soft, bushy-tailed and cute?"
Heather: "ummm..."
Me: "foxes get hit and just kinda go thump-thump. Armadillos kinda pop and explode"
Heather: "you would know that"

4. Heather: "ooooooooohhhhh!!!!"
Me: "What?!"
Heather: "a porch!!! and a swing!!!"
Me: omg...hahahahahahaa
Heather: "that's my dream! I want a porch with a porch swing! They're EVERYWHERE HERE!"

She's gonna kill me. hahaha

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